It’s time for girl Smurfs to get their blue!
IF I could pick the most smurf-furiating icon from my childhood cartoons, it’d have to be Smurfette. In a village full of Smurfs with personalities — Brainy, Grouchy, Vanity, etc. — she was defined by her high heels, blond hair and name suffix. Hardly a smurfy role model for young girls.
Not even a real Smurf, Smurfette was concocted out of clay by evil wizard Gargamel to entice the Smurfs into a trap; as the story goes, she was won over by the Smurfs and now lives among them — as the visual embodiment of women being token accessories to men.
“Smurfs: The Lost Village,” out Friday, attempts to tackle this smurfist history, letting its heroine (Demi Lovato) voice the existential crisis: What exactly is an “ette”? (Nothing good, sister.) In the wake of her identity crisis, Smurfette goes on an adventure and discovers the lost village of the title, which is populated entirely by female Smurfs. With, it must be said, supremely dumb names: SmurfWillow (Julia Roberts), SmurfStorm (Michelle Rodriguez), SmurfBlossom (Ellie Kemper), Smurflily (Ariel Winter). But hey: Great. Better smurf than never, right?
Well, no. I still have a smurf to pick with the way “The Lost Village” is being advertised. Its many trailers only give a whisper of a hint that girl Smurfs are part of the plot; they’re mostly about the “lost” part, with the Smurfs wandering around in a forest.
Why hide the girl Smurfs? Why not put the matriarchal Smurf utopia front and center?
Could it be that Hol- lywood still doesn’t think girls — Smurf or otherwise — will actually sell tickets? Even when they’re played by Julia Roberts? (Maybe that’s why only 27 percent of dialogue in last year’s topgrossing movies was spoken by women, a stat that makes me so mad I could smurf.)
Well, I’m here to undersmurf the patriarchy, so here goes: “THE LOST VILLAGE” HAS A BUNCH OF LADY SMURFS IN IT. WHO SHOOT BOWS AND ARROWS LIKE KATNISS SMURFIN’ EVERDEEN. Spread the word, girls. And never let ’em call you “ette.”