Summer porn harvest fest

New York magazine would almost have you believe that online porn is replacing standard TV.

The television series finale is “no longer the be-all and end-all of TV storytelling,” Matt Zoller Seitz writes, directly opposing colleague Boris Kachka’s lengthy rave of the last episode of HBO’s “The Leftovers.”

Meanwhile TV’s loss is porn’s gain as the “golden age of sexual creativity” is upon us — all thanks to Pornhub.

The NSFW video-sharing site, where amateurs and pros alike display all manner — or ill-manner — of sex acts, has made us more “porn-literate, porn-saturated, and porn-conversant,” writes Maureen O’Connor in this week’s issue.

In celebration of the site’s 10th anniversary, O’Connor got access to a decade’s worth of the data from the smut purveyor. And the results were titillating: searches for “romantic sex” are not popular while searches for “elf ” jump 464 percent around Christmas.

All of this is likely to the consternation of St. Augustine, the Christian theologian, deemed as “the man who made sex dirty,” by the New Yorker .

Despite St. Augustine’s early inclination to frequently feed his “restless sexual energies,” he entered the priesthood in his thirties, studying Adam and Eve and formulating the concept of original sin.

We were ready for confession after delving into Pornhub’s “vast trove of smut” and St. Augustine’s early misdeeds — and Time delivered with a piece on the growth of millennial men studying to become priests.

There are currently 1,900 men under 30 studying to become priests — up from 1,300 in 2005. We’re sure this has nothing to do with Pornhub’s rise in traffic.