Let Them Eat Cake — on Subways

Joe Lhota got trains running quickly after Superstorm Sandy, but his idea to ban food on subways won’t go anywhere fast. Not in anything-goes New York, that’s for sure.

The new MTA boss floated the suggestion this week after a track fire sparked hours of subway delays and minor injuries. Lhota said it was inappropriate to consume some foods on the trains.

“Recently I was on . . . the No. 2 train and someone got on with a Styrofoam thing of Chinese food,” Lhota recalled. “Inevitably, the rice fell. It was all over the place. And I want to avoid things like that.”

Gee, how nice it would be if riders, after donning their bibs, would carefully make sure not to let crumbs fall on the floor or eat messy foods while below ground. Hello? What city does Lhota think this is? Riders break MTA rules every day: litter- ing, riding with open bottles, selling goods, holding doors open, you name it. They’re not going to stop eating on subways.

Besides, how would transit police keep folks from bringing banned foods onto the train — set up TSA agents or food-tasters at turnstiles? Even Mayor de Blasio (who rarely gets anything right) said he can’t imagine “people not being allowed to eat on the subway in a place as busy as this.”

To be fair, Lhota asked folks to wait for a top-to-bottom review of the transit system that’s due at month’s end before launching an all-out food fight. Recommendations might call for nothing more than “an education program” about eating on trains.

But Lhota shouldn’t spend much time drafting subway menus. Just get the trains running well, Joe. Because better service is what New Yorkers are really hungry for.