WIDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

Not only is Bobby Goldman having more sex than you, she’s turned her stories into a saucy musical

BOBBY Goldman was 51 when she started dating again, on doctor’s orders: “My shrink said, ‘Go out and get laid!’ ”

Easier said than done. It was 1999, and Goldman’s husband, writer James Goldman, had died over a year before. The two had been together since Goldman was 21; the last time she dated, “shrimp cocktails were $1.50!”

Still, she did as she was told. Many misadventures later, Goldman is like that gal in “Follies,” the 1971 musical her husband wrote with Stephen Sondheim: She’s still here. Not only that, at 68, she’s thriving, having turned her mishaps into a musical. Opening Thursday, “Curvy Widow” stars Nancy Opel as Bobby Goldman in a story its playwright describes as “98.5 percent autobiographical.”

“Every bad date is real,” Goldman says — and so are the clothes: She lent Opel her jewelry, Helmut Lang jacket and Hermès bag to wear onstage, the better to help the actress feel like Barbara “Bobby” Goldman.

Not to worry, though — Goldman credits her unique allure with leading to lots of great dates, too. “I’m 68, I have gray hair, and I’m dating six men,” says the woman whose Playbill bio lists “world-class chef, interior designer and contractor” among many talents. “I’ve taken men away from bimbettes — beautiful women in their 30s — because I’m interesting.”

Still, when the writer of “The Lion in Winter” died soon after the couple’s 23rd anniversary (they had no children together), she figured her love life was over. Her therapist believed otherwise and prescribed Match.com.

Goldman’s first date, “a regular, sweet, nerdy guy,” took her to the movies. Afterward, back at her apartment, he leaned in for a kiss. She slapped him.

“It was just a reflex,” says Goldman, who had spent decades with one man without touching another. She apologized and slept with her date that night.

The encounter didn’t go anywhere. A “regular guy” wasn’t what she was after, nor were the 65 or so other men she met — half of whom walked out in the middle of their dates.

“If men are on Match.com, they’re hunting,”

“I’ve taken men away from beautiful women in their 30s because I’m interesting.” — Bobby Goldman

she says. “They’ll say they’re taking you out to dinner and give you a glass of water. All the Match.com dates were grotesque.”

Stung by rejection, Goldman surfed the Web for other dating sites. On Christmas Eve, just before heading out to a party, she found one that promised “adult companionship.”

Goldman quickly realized it was a sex site. (The naked photos said it all.) Nevertheless, she filled out a profile, headlined it “Curvy Widow” and, without supplying a photo of her own, went off to dinner.

When she returned home, she turned on her computer and found 150 responses. Some of them included shots of male private parts propped next to a beer can or a TV remote, evidently for purposes of perspective.

Several “creepy” hook- ups later, she discovered AshleyMadison.com, the site that caters to married people looking for affairs. For Goldman, who enjoys seeing “sophisticated, successful” men her age, it’s just what the doctor ordered. And no, she doesn’t feel guilty about it.

“If a guy’s straying and he’s in his 20s, 30s and 40s, he’s a dog,” she says. “But if he’s over 60, his wife doesn’t laugh at his jokes anymore, she isn’t interested in sex, he’s been relegated to [picking] up the milk on his way home . . .” Goldman shrugs.

“I’m very clear that this is not about breaking up a family. I date only successful men because I don’t want to feel that if they buy me a lobster, their kids will starve.”

She says she’s too busy to think about settling down. “I work seven days a week, and I love it,” she says. “I wake up every day and say, ‘Aren’t I lucky?’ ”