Wonder wingwoman
Dating guru Nana Wereko-Brobby helps singles shut down their apps and flirt face to face
T HERE’S something to be said for feeling a spark with someone face to face instead of through a screen. But breaking the ice isn’t always easy. Enter Social Concierge, a new dating club for 20- and 30-somethings that employs “crowd mixologists” to help singles make connections.
At the group’s monthly dating events in NYC and London, these professional wingpeople work the room, make introductions and set the stage for flirty conversations by raising fun topics of mutual interest.
Nana Wereko-Brobby, the club’s founder, says Social Con- cierge is geared toward people who have grown weary of swiping left and right. “You get to tap into that excitement of meeting someone in person,” she says.
Social Concierge charges $25 a month for that thrill. But even if you’re not a member, you can channel the wisdom of her mixand-mingle specialists to chat people up. Here’s how.
DRESS YOURSELF IN STORIES
Instead of cringing through awkward introductory chatter, consider wearing clothing and accessories that have interesting origin tales behind them.
“If you’re wearing a brooch you bought when you were traveling in Peru or a tie that was given to you by a boss whom you were kind of attracted to, you instantly have an anecdote to share,” Wereko-Brobby says.
In many cases, a suitor will compliment or ask about the item. Otherwise, it’s easy to work it into conversation because it’s right there on your person. Says Wereko-Brobby, “This technique lets you avoid inane small talk.”
MAKE COMPLIMENTS COUNT
Granted, you can rarely go wrong with a kind and courteous remark about someone’s looks or clothing. But instead of isolating one item or feature (“Cool shoes!”), try the line WerekoBrobby says is far more effective: “I like your style.”
“Style is the physical embodiment of what the person thinks their character is,” she says. “It feels like an acknowledgment of their real self.”
FAST-TRACK THE FUNNY
Few qualities unite people like a shared sense of humor. That’s why Wereko-Brobby tells singles to generate an “inside joke” with any promising matches.
For example, if you’re stuck at a bar with slow service or a patron nearby is busting out ridiculously bad dance moves, catch the eye of the person you’re interested in and silently commiserate with a raised brow or sly smirk. “It shows that you don’t take things too seriously — and that you have a common view of this situation that you’ve both found yourself in,” Wereko-Brobby says. It also creates a chill pretext for striking up a conversation (“So, how long have
you been waiting for a round?”).
‘HIRE’ A HOTTIE
An alternate way to bond with a dashing stranger is to enlist the person’s services. “One of the things I do is go up to a guy and ask him, ‘ Can you be my wingman for a little while?’ ” Wereko-Brobby says.
This subtle form of subterfuge takes the pressure off the encounter.
“It may sound counterintuitive, but you can really get to know a person this way. You’re making the situation lighthearted, and you end up bonding over it,” she says.
Once the game has gone on for a while — and the chemistry with your pseudohelper is apparent — turn the tables and express your interest (“Maybe I should just stick with you!”).
“Keep it playful,” Wereko-Brobby says.
SET YOUR SIGHTS HIGH
Muster your courage and make a play for the person in the room you find most attractive — your chances might be better than you realize. Wereko-Brobby says hot people are often so intimidating that few people even make an attempt.
“By approaching them, you’re demonstrating your confidence,” she says. “It seems like such a primal thing, but ignoring the social hierarchy can be very effective.”