Turkey talkers not wingin’ it

No questions are too birdbrained for Butterball help desk

IT’S Thanksgiving morning and you haven’t defrosted the turkey. Who ya gonna call?

Probably Butterball’s Turkey Talk-Line, where 50 professionally trained operators are standing by to field phone calls and texts, some of them frantic.

“We’ve heard it all,” says Nicole Johnson, the hotline’s co-director. “People ask if they can thaw their turkey with an electric blanket, a Jacuzzi and even in the dishwasher on the rinse cycle — none of which work.”

She recalls one panicked father who called on Thanksgiving Day, amid the sound of splashing water: “In an effort to multitask, he was bathing the kids and soaking the turkey in the tub together!”

Johnson has been with Butterball since 2001, when she postponed her honeymoon to become a Talk-Line operator. She holds a graduate degree in nutrition, while other operators have at least a bachelor’s degree in a food-related field.

When the hotline started in 1981, it was manned by six home economists. These days, nutritionists, food stylists, home economics teachers and a food scientist hold forth from a nondescript office building in Naperville, Ill. All are graduates of “Butterball University,” an all-day course in cooking a turkey in every possible way: convection oven, electric countertop, grill, even microwave.

Between Nov. 1 to Dec. 24, they respond to more than 100,000 calls, in English and Spanish, along with countless texts, chats and social media posts. The most frequently asked question: How do you defrost a turkey?

Two years ago, Kimberley Moran of Hampden, Maine, found herself “freaking out” when she discovered her turkey was still frozen — with company on the way. She called the hotline.

“I was literally crying as I told [the operator] my problem,” says Moran, 49. “She was like, ‘First of all, take a deep breath. You aren’t the first person to have this problem, and you’re in luck, there is a solution.’ ”

The emergency technique is cold-water thawing, where you soak the turkey in its wrapper for 30 minutes per pound, changing the water every half-hour.

“Everyone wants that ‘Pinterest perfect’ day,” says Johnson, whose husband handles the turkey duties while she’s on call. “But, in the end, we have to settle for perfectly imperfect, and that’s OK.”

Turkey troubles? Call 1-800-BUTTERBALL or text 844-877-3456.