A So wrong he’s right
While everyone else apologizes for bad behavior, Trump never says he’s sorry. It’s a strategy that’s working for him
T some point in your journey to become a good adult, you learned that it is important to apologize for bad behavior. Ideally, an apology allows you to acknowledge your mistake, atone for it, show contrition, demonstrate empathy, explain what you learned from it, offer a solution for avoiding the same problem in the future and move past it. When it comes to personal interactions, apologies are a good strategy, at least when done right. A bad apology makes things worse, but a good one can often get you the result you want, as in getting past the problem.
But here’s where it gets interesting: The normal rules of social behavior don’t always translate to politics. When politicians apologize, it can sometimes make things worse. For example, we watched as Sen. Al Franken apologized for his inappropriate behavior with Leeann Tweeden. Observers gave him high marks for doing his apology right. Tweeden even accepted the apology. The problem is that more accusers came forward, and that required more apologies. If yet more accusers come forward, the public and the media will demand even more apologies. And the apologies can create their own stories, keeping Franken in the headlines far more than he wants.
Each of us carries in our minds some idea of what a proper apology looks like. That means any sort of apology that is not pitch-perfect and universally recognized as such creates more problems — at least in a political sense. Franken eventually apologized two more times, as new allegations surfaced, making his apologies a target-rich environment for his haters. Did he apologize correctly this time? Was it enough? Was it sincere? Why did it take three tries? Should we ask him to do it again, only better? If you want less attention on your mistakes, multiple apologies won’t necessarily get you there. And while you are doling out your apologies, you remind the public that you are flawed and weak. That’s not a good look for a leader. The longer that the public dwells on your mistakes, the more important they seem.
Now, let’s now consider President Trump, the world’s most famous non-apologizer. He did once apologize for his comments on the infamous “Access Hollywood” recording, but that was a special case. Beyond that one situation, he avoids apologizing for any kind of error or misstep. Is that a good strategy for a president? Generally, no. But in the special case of President Trump, he makes it work. I’ll tell you how.
If you believe the fact-checkers, Trump should be spending a few hours every day apologizing for getting facts wrong. If you believe the pundits, he should spend another hour every day apologizing for his provocative tweets. And let’s not forget the 10 offensive things he says every time the camera points at him or he’s near an open mic. For this president in particular, apologizing for imperfections would be a full-time job. And it would make him look weak. So what does the Non-Apologizer-in-Chief do instead of apologizing? He creates an unending stream of provocations so the pundits always have something new to jabber about. The press can’t spend much time on the old outrages when new things are coming at them like lawn furniture in a hurricane. The functional purpose of a political apology is to persuade the public to stop thinking about the underlying offense. President Trump accomplishes the same thing by flooding the field with so much provocation that you can’t spend much time thinking about a single affront.
President Trump also uses provocation to force the media to focus where he wants them to focus. As I write this, CNNis reporting that the president’s retweets of so-called “far-right” videos showing Muslim violence against non-Muslims goes “too far.” Some say it is racist. Some say it is needlessly provocative. Some say it is offensive.
But while people are objecting to the president’s tweets, they are thinking about Muslim violence against non-Muslims. And the media keeps showing us the images. Humans are visual creatures, so we will remember the videos long after we forget that pundits said the president went too far. We’ll forget this outrage because he will go “too far” on another topic within hours. The visual persuasion from the videos will stick with us longer than whatever the pundits said about it. President Trump gets the per- suasion win for his immigration argument, and he’s already conjuring up new rabbits for the press to chase.
If your brand as a politician involves being a nice person who cares about puppies and rainbows, apologizing for your mistakes is a good strategy and it fits your brand. But if you happen to be a politician whose brand is built around strength and political incorrectness, apologies would just give your critics easy targets while making you look weak. President Trump can thrive without apologizing so long as he is persuading in a direction that is (arguably) good for the country, he controls the public’s focus with new provocations and he is consistent with his brand. None of that applies to the rest of us. So work on your apologies. You’ll need them.