COPING & HOPING IN WAKE OF WENTZ
FORGIVE me for being uncomfortable. This is my first time on a psychiatrist’s couch. PSYCHIATRIST: No problem. Just tell me what you’re feeling.
ME: Well, I’m excited, stressed out, and also depressed. I somehow advanced in my fantasy football league playoffs, but I lost my quarterback, Carson Wentz, to a seasonending knee injury. I guess I should be happy I’m still alive, but I’m not sure what to do at QB, or even other positions that could be affected. Plus, I’ve already had to overcome the losses of David Johnson, Odell Beckham Jr., Dalvin Cook, Deshaun Watson ...
PSYCHIATRIST: I’m sorry, are you saying you had all these players on your team and you still made the fantasy playoffs?
ME: Hey, back off ! I’m projecting here! But mainly, I just need to figure out what to do at QB first.
PSYCHIATRIST: What do you think you should do?
ME: Well, I am going to check on Jimmy Garoppolo. If he’s available, that will make me feel a bit better. If not, Blake Bortles has some soft matchups the next couple of weeks, and he has played well recently. If Tyrod Taylor is deemed healthy, he’s a third option. I even could just plug in Nick Foles. Plus I’m worried other players could be impacted by Wentz’s injury. PSYCHIATRIST: What do you mean? ME: Does this make Jay Ajayi usable again? He’s averaging nearly 7 yards an attempt since he was traded, but Sunday was the first time he got double-digit carries. His use has increased steadily, and LeGarrette Blount’s has declined, so that’s something. What do you think?
PSYCHIATRIST: I’m more interested in what you think.
ME: Well, even if I can start having more confidence in Ajayi, I can’t say the same about the receivers. Alshon Jeffery hadn’t lived up to his draft cost even with Wentz. That’s not going to improve with Foles. Nelson Agholor has been just a bye-week filler or daily-league dart. There’s no way Zach Ertz, when he returns from a concussion, continues to dominate like he has, right?
PSYCHIATRIST: I’m confused. Do you have anyone other than Philadelphia Eagles on your fantasy team?
ME: Hey, back off ! I’m projecting here! Anyway, maybe I could pick up Marquise Goodwin or Dede Westbrook to offset expected Jeffery regression? I could take a flyer on Mike Wallace in a Ravens offense that suddenly is putting up big points. Either of those is better than Agholor, right? If Ertz plays, I can’t sit him for Greg Olsen or Stephen Anderson or Charles Clay or other possible waiver options, because all of them are even bigger question marks. Does that make sense?
PSYCHIATRIST: Does it make sense to you?
ME: At least adding those guys would give me options. But none of these options are a “fix,” they’re just survival-instinct reactions, percentage plays to marginally increase the dwindling possibility of a league title. What do you think?
PSYCHIATRIST: I think time’s up. Let’s do this again next week.