Weird BUT true

He’s a cookie monster. Richard Hessic was arrested for punching his girlfriend in the face while they were arguing over “cookies,” according to cops in Port St. Lucie, Fla.

Hessic, 31, was angry “someone ate the last chocolate chip cookie” — and thought his gal pal wasn’t “taking him seriously,” according to the police report.

Grandma’s Christmas gifts were gonna be lit.

An elderly couple was busted in Nebraska with 60 pounds of pot in their truck — and told cops they planned to give away the cannabis as Christmas presents.

York County deputies pulled over Patrick Jiron, 80, and Barbara Jiron, 83, on Interstate 80, and found boxes of pot inside their car worth an estimated $336,000.

“They said the marijuana was for Christmas presents,” said Lt. Paul Vrbka.

He’s out-scrooging Scrooge. An atheist in Eugene, Ore., threatened to sue the city for allowing a banner that encourages residents to celebrate Jesus this Christmas.

Rene Salm said he feels “assaulted” by the religious banner and believes it’s in violation of the separation of church and state.

The man with the world’s longest penis says he wants to register as a disabled person — because his 1¹/2-footlong member prevents him from keeping a job.

“I cannot do anything. I cannot work and I am disabled, so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support,” said Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, of Mexico.

He has refused to undergo reduction surgery.

An Algerian man was arrested on Monday for trying to chisel the face and breasts off a 120-year-old statue of a nude woman.

“His motive was indeed religious, but this does not excuse his actions,” Minister of Culture Ez Al Din al-Maheoubi said.

Video of the man attacking the statue with a hammer went viral in Algeria.