Not tonight honey
Therapists say sleep not sex should be priority
WHAT’S more important for a healthy relationship: sleep or sex? Rest easy, experts say the answer is sleep, despite the pressure that some people, especially women, may feel to get intimate when tired.
Women are disproportionately targeted by “power through” messaging, Laurel Steinberg, an NY-based clinical sexologist, tells The Post. In fairness, they’re usually the sleepier ones: “Men’s desire for sex seems to override any exhaustion they may experience,” the Columbia University psychology professor says. Because of this, she adds, women may feel more pressure “to acquiesce, even when exhausted.”
But women “powering through” bedroom antics to please their partners typically achieves little.
Michael Aaron, a Manhattan-based psychotherapist, says that relationships gen- erally start to suffer when lovers prioritize quantity over quality. “People begin avoiding sex when it feels lethargic or obligatory,” he says. Forcing yourself to have more mediocre sex makes sex less . . . sexy.
Also, it’s possible that your partner doesn’t want so-so snoozy sex any more than you do, adds clinical psychologist Alexis Conason. The NY-based expert believes men can be just as negatively impacted by a gotta-get-itdone mentality as ladies can. If a guy isn’t in the mood, “his manhood is called into question,” she says.
Does all of this mean you should never have sex when you’re tired? Of course not, says Conason. If you want to give it a go despite your heavy eyelids, by all means, get busy. But “don’t just fall into the pressure,” she says.
If you’re on the fence, remember: “You need sleep in order to live and be healthy,” Aaron says. “[But] no one has died from not having sex.”