2018 Anti-Predictions
MANY events in 2017 couldn’t have been predicted, and that’ll certainly be the case in 2018. But you can be sure some things happen next year. Here’s my annual list:
Harvey Weinstein will be chosen as the first male president of the National Organization for Women.
Twitter will become the go-to place to avoid angry, nasty comments.
Sen. Chuck Schumer will injure himself while running from a TV camera.
New York commuters’ 2017 Summer of Hell will actually end in 2018.
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand will make up her mind about whether Bill Clinton should’ve resigned over sex-abuse allegations.
Having learned his lesson, Mayor de Blasio will stop selling political favors to fat-cat donors.
The United Nations will admit reality and recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.
Someone, somewhere will uncover the first shred of evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.
As the Empire State’s minimum wage continues to rise, employers will hire more New Yorkers to unload all their excess cash.
The number of conservative professors in America will top 20 percent.
President Trump will go the whole year without insulting a single person.
Trump will go five minutes without insulting anyone.
Hezbollah, ISIS and the Houthis will work together to turn Iran and Saudi Arabia into the best of friends.
New York Republicans will find someone to run against Gov. Cuomo who has an excellent chance of winning.
Hillary Clinton will finally fade from the headlines.
Taking note of the GOP tax cut’s positive impact, de Blasio will push to roll back New York’s taxes, especially those on the top 1 percent. Mexico will pay for the wall. Little Rocket Man will redirect 100 percent of North Korea’s nuclear-weapons funding toward food for its starving population.
A US politician will, somehow, be found guilty of political corruption.
A majority of students at one of de Blasio’s Renewal schools will pass the state tests.
Cuomo will take responsibility for something — transit, schools, Upstate’s rotten economy — and stop trying to pander to the left in advance of running for president.
Satisfied with its box-office billions, Marvel will end production of its superhero flicks.
Democrats will realize Trump isn’t leaving office before 2021 and begin to formulate reasons why Americans should support one of them instead.
Thanks to de Blasio’s affordable-housing program, no one will ever have trouble finding a cheap apartment in New York.
Steve Bannon will stop throwing political Molotov cocktails and work to get something done for Americans.
Special Counsel Robert Mueller will recuse himself from the Russia probe due to conflicts of interest.
State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman will focus on New York issues and stop suing Trump to win national headlines.
Incoming NJ Gov. Phil Murphy will save the Garden State’s pension funds and right Trenton’s finances — all while cutting taxes.
The billions Cuomo has showered on friends and supporters in the name of economic development will begin to produce a few jobs upstate.
With the civil war over, Syria will become a model democracy, with tolerance for people of all faiths and respect for the rule of law.
Wind and solar energy will become major sources of power in New York — just in time to replace the 30 percent of the region’s energy supplied by the Indian Point nuclear plant, which is closing.
Journalists will stop making silly New Year’s predictions.