Tee time for celebrities

VACATION’S over. School’s begun. Today, class takes up the burning question — what’s big Charles Barkley, little Joe Pesci, rich Samuel L. Jackson and cranky Larry David have in common with Michael Jordan, Don Cheadle and Bill Murray?

Answer: All love to hit their little balls.

Why? Larry David’s such a bundle of laughs on the 18th hole? And didn’t Humpty Dumpty

Tiger Woods already have a great fall? So . . . why? Civilization’s leaders Woodrow Wilson, Gerald Ford, George W. Bush, Eisenhower were addicted. Obama almost did little else. Talk of a handicap! Cabinet members suggested he lay off the links one day so he could remember where the Oval Office was.

Inquiring minds inquire if, between daily hairdressing appointments, even Kim JongUgh discusses his putts.

Leaders love the sport. It’s rumored JFK, who had other hobbies, returned home late one night and explained: “Truth is, I was with my mistress.” And Jackie answered: “Oh, OK, I thought you were out playing golf.”

Per Scotland’s Daily Record: “At the 13th tee,

Clinton relieved himself behind a bush.” Peeing on their turf didn’t upset them. Their complaint? “He committed the ultimate crime. He wore white sneakers rather than golf shoes.” They also called

Michael Douglas “a pain in the grass” because friendly Michael took two hours to play six holes and Hugh Grant, who was next, became cranky.

There are other sports. Basketball, baseball, soccer ball, football, volleyball, handball, racquetball. Why is it these particular grown-ups can spend days babytalking words like birdie . . . cup . . . tee . . . hole . . . rough . . .

Why’s America’s president of the United States, commander in chief of the armed forces, leader of the free world, most important person in the universe, owner of Mara-Lago — hitting innocent little tufts of grass with an iron stick 84 times in 52 weeks? OK by me but — kiddies — mankind’s think tanks need hand this to one of

Elon Musk’s elves to realize that this subject needs study.