Boldfacers in hot water
JAILBIRD Lillo Brancato, once star of “A Bronx Tale,” once featured on “The Sopranos,” once convicted of attempted burglary, and now in producer Noel Ashman’s film “Wasted Talent,” which just won best documentary at the NYC International Film Festival, reminded me of other Hollywood hell: Nick Nolte — we all remember his mug shot, right? Matthew McConaughey got caught with marijuana; Ben Affleck gambling; Robert Blake, whose wife somehow got a little killed, although he was acquitted; there’s Michael Douglas’ son; Charlie Sheen’s sex; hateful Mel Gibson’s hateful drunk; Johnny Depp allegedly broke; Madonna and the kid who doesn’t want to stay with mama; headlines about Roman Polanski, of whom you may have heard; Winona Ryder shoplifting; Michael Jackson molestation . . .
And going back: Ingrid Bergman cheated on her husband; Lana Turner boyfriend murdered; Debbie Reynolds ruined by hus- bands financially; Hugh Grant picking up a hooker; Eddie Murphy picking up a transsexual prostitute; Fatty Arbuckle’s miseries back in B.C.; Zsa Zsa’s fake prince got her money; Sinatra and the mob; Judy Garland, drugs; Elizabeth Taylor multiple husbands; Charlie Chaplin age 16 wife; Clark Gable’s illegitimate baby; Errol Flynn seduced women . . . And on and on . . . Then, how about the Bad Sports:
A-Rod, who knows how to use his bat but strikes out hitting truth; Tiger Woods, who might realize he’s a pig; Lance Armstrong the big-time performance enhancing drugs user; Barry Bonds — steroids; Roger Clemens — steroids accusations; Kobe Bryant — beat a rape charge; Lenny Dykstra —a grand theft auto thing; Pete Rose — filing false tax returns; Joe Paterno complicit in child sex abuse.
Let’s never forget O.J.; Darryl Strawberry — drugs, depression, domestic abuse accusations; Michael (sick) Vick — dogfighting; Aaron Hernandez — murder; Oscar Pistorius — shooting; Tonya Harding, who thanks to Margot Robbie may no longer be skating on thin ice; and lest we forget Mike Tyson. Although we’re being loving because this is holy week, how about Financial Felons. Like: Jordan Belfort, Michael Milken, Enron’s Ken Lay, Bernie Madoff, Allen Stanford, Ivan Boesky, Turing Pharmaceuticals’ Martin Shkreli and on and on . . . Let us now ponder Politicians in Poop: John Edwards; Jesse Jackson; South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford; Dennis Hastert; Anthony Weiner; Malcolm Smith; Mario Biaggi; Pedro Espada; Vito Lopez; Dean Skelos; Eliot Spitzer; Stanley Friedman; Anthony Weiner again just on general principles; Sheldon Silver; Hiram Monserrate; Spiro Agnew; Charlie Rangel; Idaho Sen. Larry Craig soliciting men in airport bathroom; and there’s always Albany’s Mr. Percoco.