Weird BUT True

Stranded at midnight with a dead cellphone, a young woman in Florida made an “alarming” choice.

Dequaisia Taylor, 20, pulled a building fire alarm on Hutchinson Island near Stuart Beach, hoping to get a ride home, police said. Instead, she was arrested on a false-fire-alarm charge.

An elderly Utah couple put a sign on their Iron Town home saying, “Smith & Wesson spoken here” — and proved they meant it.

When an alleged burglar, identified as Christian Holbert, 24, entered their home Tuesday, the couple shot him multiple times, police said.

Holbert, reportedly on “some kind of drugs,” stripped naked and was Tased by cops before being taken into custody.

A Nashville man’s weapon of choice was a bit half-baked.

Jeffrey Tomerlin, 45, enraged at the sight of his exgirlfriend in a car with her new boyfriend, struck her in the face with a biscuit, police said.

Tomerlin, who also punched the car hood and threatened to kill the couple, was charged with public intoxication, vandalism and assault, police said.

A Scottish man was so drunk, he took a taxi to what he thought was his parents’ Glasgow house and passed out on what he thought was their couch.

But Thomas Airlie, 26, was in the home his parents had left two years ago. Current owner Elaine McDade, 43, kicked out an apologetic Airlie who looked, she said, like “a normal guy who’d had too much to drink.”

Maybe this alleged Kentucky thief wasn’t playing with a full desk.

Michael Larocco, 33, was charged with stealing several items from a Family Dollar Store, including 99 packs of Pokémon cards.

Busted with the merchandise, Larocco told cops he stole more than he’d intended “out of spite” for an employee who had “antagonized him.”