He just can’t dig it
Buried treasure not accessible
Dear John: I recently discovered that something valuable is buried on Ellis Island.
Who can I ask to get permission to dig a one foot by one foot hole?
Do you think I will be allowed to dig? Can I dig at State and National Parks? Thank you for your help. J.G.
Dear J.G.: You are apparently referring to something contained in a book of puzzles called “The Secret,” which was published in 1982 by Byron Preiss. To set up his puzzles, Preiss went to different places in North America to bury ceramic vases.
Each of these vases could be redeemed for one of 12 jewels Preiss kept in a New York safe deposit box — or something like that. Anyway, the answer is “no.” The National Park Service isn’t going to let you dig a hole — no matter the size — on Ellis Island.
“He cannot,” said a spokesman for Ellis Island. “There are many rules and regulations, as you could imagine.” One rule apparently is no holes.
What if you decided to ferry to the island and discreetly dig your one foot by one foot hole? “He would be arrested by Park Police,” my contact said.
So, if you value your freedom, don’t go looking for valuables.
Dear John: Are you so out of touch with the American worker that you really believe
that an American wouldn’t do manual labor for $20 an hour for two to three hours a day?
Are you so blinded with TDS that you can’t see through that blanketed veil that you wear? Get out there and do some work instead of sitting at a desk. C.B.
Dear C.B.: New rule: If an abbreviation doesn’t show up in Google, you can’t use it.
TDS means Trump Derangement Syndrome — I’m told by my editor — which apparently means I am going nuts because Donald is president.
Let me start with these facts. I’ve known Trump for 30 years. I also correctly predicted he was going to win the election when hardly anyone else believed it. And I’ve disagreed with much of what he has done so far as president.
So there’s nobody who is more neutral on this guy than I am. So stick your TDS.
Anyway, here’s the thing about the important part of this letter. Not even one other person wrote to me implying that they’d work two to three hours a day at the dump if they got $20 an hour.
So you apparently are the only, as you say, “American” willing to do that job. Send me your full name and where you live and I’ll ask my readers if they have any yard work you can do.
Would you accept $15 an hour? I assume you don’t plan to pay taxes on that, so $15 isn’t bad.
Here’s what I see when I’m not “sitting at a desk.” I see dozens of men, who I assume are Hispanic (although I’m profiling there) grouped in bunches in Freehold and Red Bank, NJ, who are looking for work.
They are there every day, except Sunday. And this goes on all around the country, I hear.
I don’t know their citizenship status. But I do know that when these guys (and there aren’t any women) are called upon for day labor, they work their asses off. And they are grateful.
So when B.C., the person whose letter you were referring to, offered to pay $20 an hour, he was being very generous — as I said in my response.
Anybody have work for this guy? He says he is willing to go to the dump for you.