These toxic relationships can make you sick
ON-AGAIN, offagain relationships: good fun on TV, not so great for your mental health. People who experience “relationship cycling,” or repeatedly breaking up and getting back together with the same person, may raise their risk for depression and anxiety, according to new research published in the journal Family Relations.
Of the 500 individuals studied, those in hot-andcold relationships experienced heightened symptoms of anxiety and depression — an uptick that researchers attribute to the ongoing stress of their break-upmake-up sagas.
It makes sense when you consider the suckiness factor of just one breakup. “While upsetting,” one-off splits and their associated angst are “often fleeting,” study co-author Kale Monk tells The Post.
But multiply that several times over, and the pattern starts to have “more pervasive implications” on your overall mental health, he says.
Even worse: After all of those highs and lows, the relationships hardly seemed worth the payoff. Cycling was “linked to poor relationship quality, including impairment in satisfaction, commitment and communication,” says Monk, an assistant professor at the University of Missouri.
So, why do people get stuck in such toxic pairings in the first place?
“Some people might be drawn to the dramatic and passionate excitement of this pattern,” Monk explains. “But primarily, we see that people return to a relationship that ended because they have lingering feelings for their former partners.”
If exes want to give their relationship another go, Monk says they need to address the factors that caused them to split in the first place. Otherwise, they’ll likely just repeat past mistakes.
He also thinks people should really question their own motives before getting back together with an ex. “Is the reason rooted in dedication and positive feelings, or more about obligation and convenience?” Monk says. “The latter reasons are more likely to lead down a path of continual distress.”
“Relationship cycling,” or breaking up and making up with the same person over and over, spells trouble for your mental health.