1st QUARTER LEADS
Serb by Says takes stock of NFL’s first month
W ITHOUT FURTHER ADO — further ado will follow shortly — we proudly present the prestigious first-quarter NFL awards known throughout the Serby Says household as the Serbys:
MVP
Patrick Mahomes (QB, Chiefs): One moment he reminds you of Fran Tarkenton, the next moment it’s Brett Favre. Gunslinger.
OFFENSIVE PLAYER
Jared Goff (QB, Rams): Maybe he will be better than Carson Wentz. Runnerup: Alvin A Kamara (RB, Saints): 35 receptions, 611 yards from scrimmage, six TDs. Not bad for the 67th pick of the 2017 draft.
DEFENSIVE PLAYER
Khalil Mack (DE, Bears): A oneman wrecking crew (five sacks, four forced fumbles and a pick-six) and terrorizing Monster of the Midway who could have played with those ’85 Bears. Runner-up: Myles Garrett (DE, Browns): Has 4.5 sacks and 19 tackles. Manimal.
COACH
Mike Vrabel (Titans): A natural-born leader, even as a rookie, whose go-for-it mentality has gotten his team to believe. Runner-up: Matt Nagy (Bears). Because he is developing Mitchell Trubisky and rallied his team back from a devastating opening day defeat against Aaron Rodgers.
OFFENSIVE ROOKIE
Saquon Barkley (RB, Giants): 260 rushing yards, three TDs and 27 receptions. Runner-up: Calvin Ridley (WR, Falcons): 15 receptions, and six of them are for touchdowns.
DEFENSIVE ROOKIE
Darius Leonard (LB, Colts): The rookie linebacker from South Carolina State they call “Maniac” has been a tackling machine before missing Thursday’s loss to the Patriots. Runner-up: Derwin James (S, Chargers): Jon Gruden loved this enforcer (three sacks, one interception), just not enough to draft him with the 10th pick.
COMEBACK PLAYER
Andrew Luck (QB, Colts): The game missed him as much as he missed the game. Runner-up: J.J. Watt (DE, Texans). He’s wrecking games again (five sacks, four forced fumbles) alongside Jadeveon Clowney.
ASSISTANT COACH
Don Martindale (DC, Ravens): That defense is for real. Runnerup: Bill Lazor (OC, Bengals): The Red Rifle lives!
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT (Player)
Corey Coleman (WR, free agent): The Browns’ 15th-overall pick in the 2016 draft has been waived by the Bills and Patriots. Runners-up: David Johnson (RB, Cardinals): 3.3 yards per carry and just 13 recep-
tions. Kenyan Drake (RB, Dolphins): Just 3.2 yards per carry.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT (Team)
Steelers (1-2-1): Without Le’Veon Bell, they nearly lost to the Browns. They are the league’s most penalized team (50-401 yards). Coach Mike Tomlin needs to get a grip. Runner-up: Falcons (1-3). Have been decimated by injuries on defense and can’t finish. Maybe coach Dan Quinn lowering the music in practice will help.
BIGGEST SURPRISE
Fitzmagic.
LEAST BIGGEST SURPRISE:
Fitztragic.
SPECIALTY AWARDS
THE BRAVARO: Steelers TE Vance McDonald stiffarming Buccaneers safety Chris Conte on a 75-yard TD catch. WORST CALL: Clay Matthews roughing-the-passer on Kirk Cousins. THE KAVANAUGH: Baker Mayfield, who stormed off the bench to rally the Browns over the Jets and expedited the unlocking of the Bud Light fridges marking the end of their 635-day winless drought. BUTTFUMBLE II: Isaiah Crowell’s crass end-zone celebration for his former fans in Cleveland. It earned him a rebuke from coach Todd Bowles. And a DUDE Wipes endorsement deal. Of course it did HE MICHAEL KAY SEE-YA! Vontae Davis, quitting the Bills at halftime against the Chargers. THE EDWIN MOSES: Bills rookie QB Josh Allen hurdling Vikings linebacker Anthony Barr. THE GREEN BAY-RET: Aaron Rodgers, hobbling back on one leg a la Willis Reed to overcome the Bears in Week 1. THE ODELL: Keelan Cole’s onehand catch against the Patriots.
CLEVELAND SPECIAL: Jarvis Landry TD pass to Mayfield. TOM VERSUS TIME: Tom Brady. DREW VERSUS TIME: Drew Brees. ADAM VERSUS TIME: Adam Vinatieri. MVG ( MOST VALUABLE
GRUDEN): Our crack staff is still deliberating on this one and was unable to reach a verdict as of press time. Jay (Redskins) has the better record. Jon (Raiders) has the better contract.
FURTHER ADO
Don’t expect the Rams or Chiefs to be unbeaten when they meet Nov. 19 in the Mexico City Monday Night Fireworks Bowl.
The 4-0 Rams have three consecutive road games — at Seattle, Denver and San Francisco — and four in the next five weeks (at New Orleans on Nov. 4).
The 4-0 Chiefs get the Jaguars at home, at the Patriots then the Bengals and Broncos at home between now and midseason.
The next time we see Le’Veon Bell, he could be catching screens from Carson Wentz, and hearing screams from Jerry Jones ... and everybody else in the NFC. The Redskins should get involved in the Bell Sweepstakes, because I doubt 33-year-old freak Adrian Peterson will make it through the season.
Funeral services for the Legion of Boom will be held ... these Seahawks are no match for the Rams.
Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome is going out with a bang. Wacko for Flacco is back now that he has enough weapons to challenge for the division title.
Odell Beckham Jr. and Julio Jones will each have their first TD catch any day now.
Jerruh passed on CB Jalen Ramsey to draft Ezekiel Elliott in 2016, remember. The Mouth That Roars will take great delight in shutting down any one of Jones’ pedestrian receivers on Oct. 14 at Jerry World.
Guaranteed this wasn’t one of the 84 million reasons why Kirk Cousins picked the Vikings over the Jets. Per PFF’s Sam Monson: Minnesota’s O-line has now surrendered 81 total pressures through four games. The average O-line gives up 160 over a season. Minnesota is on pace to give up 324. And just Cousins’ luck: Thanks to Jon Gruden, he still has to face Khalil Mack twice this year. But I do expect coach Mike Zimmer to fix the defense.
Marcus Mariota, .the second-overall pick of the 2015 T draft, is a better bet to lead the Titans to the playoffs than Jameis Winston, the first-overall pick in 2015, is to lead the Bucs to the playoffs. Another reminder that character matters.
The success that offensive head coaches are having with young franchise quarterbacks — Sean McVay: Jared Goff; Matt Nagy: Mitchell Trubisky; Doug Pederson: Carson Wentz; Andy Reid: Patrick Mahomes; Bill O’Brien: Deshaun Watson — does not bode well for Todd Bowles.
Given the state of their supporting cast, the growing pains will be considerably more painful for Josh Allen and Josh Rosen than Baker Mayfield and Sam Darnold.
Beware of Philip Rivers and the Chargers whenever DE Joey Bosa returns.
Somebody needs to inform Crowell that he plays for Coach Bowles. Not Coach Bowels.