Weird BUT true

Cheesemakers want to make America grate again, but there’s no gouda news in the latest sales statistics.

US sales have been melting away in recent years, according to a new Bloomberg News report — and millennials are apparently to blame.

Experts are predicting another 1.6 percent drop for 2018, marking the fourth consecutive year that the business has seen a decline.

Cowed cheese companies haven’t been able to satisfy millennials “demanding nourishment from ingredients that are both recognizable and pronounceable,” the Bloomberg report said.

Smoke gets in your eyes, and perhaps somewhere else.

An e-cig company has been marketing a new line of vape liquid purportedly containing Viagra and Cialis.

But a skeptical US Food and Drug Administration issued a stiff warning to the firm to halt sales.

Remember when “nanny” Mayor Mike Bloomberg tried to limit the size of sugary drinks sold in the city?

Now Britain’s “nanny state” health agency, lamenting the “epidemic” of UK obesity, is drafting rules to limit the size and caloric count of pizza pies and slices.

Bloomberg fought for years for his regulation, which was finally overturned after three years.

Well, here’s a nutty way to get into the Guinness World Records books.

A Pakistani martial artist managed to crack open 243 walnuts — on his head — in one minute.

He topped the previous record of 217.

A Russian woman — who at a purported age of 129 this year was dubbed the world’s oldest and “most miserable” person — says her life is still as crappy as ever.

“I would have been dead long ago, if not for Allah,” said Koku Istambulova.

She added she has not lived a single happy day in her life.