Simon skewers fashion world
BON vivant and famed window dresser Simon Doonan lovingly skewered the fashion world in front of a crowd that included Calvin Klein, Marc Jacobs and Donna Karan.
As the fabulously arch-emcee of Fashion Group International’s Night of Stars, Doonan quipped, “Fashion today is driving your husband to the brink of insanity by forcing him to take endless photos of you, as you exit from your apartment building, striking ‘spontaneous’ poses, over and over again in different outfits . . . all the while shrieking, ‘I need more followers.’ ”
He added at the Cipriani Wall Street blacktie affair: “Fashion today is mining the past . . . whilst also knowing nothing about history and then claiming you invented everything.”
And, “Fashion today is wearing smoking hot porno shoes in the office, thereby towering over yours truly, so that you can look smoking hot whilst also calling out anyone who dares to say that you look smoking hot.”
Doonan snarked about outfits that make people look like “stylish mental patients” as well as “satin souvenir jackets . . . possibly with a dinosaur embroidered on the back” that cost “either $20 or $20,000, depending on where you shop.”
He said of new designers, “Fashion today is about mentoring a new generation of global fashion entrepreneurs. It’s about encouraging, prodding young people to become global brands ... and then scratching your head and wondering why they’re all developing anxiety disorders.”
And, “Fashion today is being a top-flight influencer — and not knowing what a magazine is.”
But he declared, most of all, “fashion today is a glorious paradox: Smart and idiotic. Beautiful and ugly. Inclusive and exclusive. Goofy and elegant. Deeply flawed but also fabulously perfect.”
“The Avengers” star Mark Ruffalo presented an award to Maria Cornejo, and honorees included Vera Wang — who pumped up the crowd by commanding, “C’mon! Energy! Fashion!” — Anna Sui, Kenzo and Opening Ceremony gurus Carol Lim and Humberto Leon, and Balmain designer Olivier Rousteing.