Electing to laugh, not cry

VOTING day is upon us. Fool the people to get their money, it’s fraud. Fool the people to get their votes, it’s politics.

Statistics say 86 percent of Americans are confused about foreign policy. This is alarming. Especially when you realize the survey was taken at our State Department.

So many candidates lining up, there aren’t enough promises to go around.

Visiting Miss Liberty, a teacher told the student: “You’ll never be president, but with your absentee record you might make it to Congress.”

Around Albany, some legislators are pen pals. Another might be honored with a testimonial probe.

Around Washington, the tablets Moses would carry would be Anacin.

Senator: To err is human. To blame it on the other guy is democracy.

Congressman: A good man nowadays is hard to find. That’s why we have separate parties.

Alderman: Elect me. Even if your troubles won’t be over — mine will.

Assemblyman: An advance poll favors whoever took it. Some candidates lose because nobody knows what they’ve actually done. Others win for the same reason.

Party leader: Many campaigns run into debt, hoping for the chance to do the same for the country. One wannabe allocated 10 mil. Told her run wouldn’t cost that much, she answered: “Yes, but in case I lose I want to live comfortably.”

Considering many electees are jokes, spread these around . . . just like the stuff They are spreading around . . .

A magician and a congressman both bamboozle the public. But when a magician does it, taxes don’t go up. Around City Hall. Born poor and honest, the front-runner managed to overcome both difficulties. Near the Executive Mansion: Our Speaker is like a buffet. Lots of dough and full of baloney. The Pentagon: To accuse us now of spying to learn what’s going on in the Kremlin is ridiculous. We’re too busy trying to find out what’s going on in the White House.