More to love
Foster parents who open their arms to an ‘Instant Family’ by adopting brothers and sisters inspire new flick
I N May 2015, Aleisha Braide-Bryant and her husband Anthony Bryant went from having just one child living under their roof — her biological teenage son, Mekhi — to six. As potential foster parents, the Long Island-based couple knew that the phone could ring with news of a kid in need of a home at any moment. Still, they were stunned when their caseworker called asking if they would take in a set of five siblings, ages 4 through 16.
“Of course, our first thought was, ‘Five kids?!’ ” BraideBryant, who does customer service for Con Edison, tells The Post. “‘No way. There’s no way we can do that.’ ”
The Bryants changed their minds when they learned that the siblings — Elizabeth, Anthony, James, Joshua and Messiah — would be separated if no one agreed to take them all in. Their background was tragic, having spent years with a single, drug-addicted mother who neglected them. Braide-Bryant, 36, says she felt compelled to step up: “It was like, ‘Oh my God, that’s horrible.’ We decided that we were going to give them a chance.”
In the new film “Instant Family,” out Friday, a California couple fosters, then adopts, three children at once. The poignant comedy features Rose Byrne and Mark Wahlberg as overwhelmed first-time parents Ellie and Pete. As the ragged couple struggles to adapt to their new responsibilities, the children grapple with other challenges, such as learning boundaries and overcoming trust issues.
It’s a journey that Braide-Bryant knows well.
From throwing epic temper tantrums to coping with deeper psychological scars, the kids — now 19, 17, 12, 8 and 7 — had a hard time adjusting at first, as did their new parents. Even three years on, Braide-Bryant admits that she and her husband still have moments “where it’s like, ‘Did we take on more than we can handle?’ ” But they adopted the siblings last November, and now, she says, “They’re just our kids.” That’s precisely how “Instant Family” director Sean Anders and his wife, Beth, feel about their trio: Johnny, 13, Cha-Cha, 9, and Josh, 8. The Los Angeles-based couple started fostering the siblings six years ago, and adopted them in 2013. Their own rollicking and hugely rewarding experience inspired the film.
When they signed up to become foster parents, “our life was so awesomely easy . . . clean and quiet and breezy,” jokes Anders, 49. Then, chaos struck in the form of three children under the age of 6. Anders says that the couple didn’t go into the process intending to take in multiple kids but were persuaded to try it after learning about how many sibling sets languish within the system. Also, “[a new placement] can be pretty traumatic for kids,” the “Daddy’s Home” director says. “At least if they have their siblings with them, they’re not alone.”
In the beginning, he says that he and Beth constantly second-guessed themselves.
“Going from zero to three kids right away, you really think you’re more prepared than you are,” he says. “But then, there is all this weirdness that you haven’t thought of, like: ‘Oh right, we have to bathe these people that we just met. And we have to cut their toenails.’ ”
He admits that between the sleep deprivation and the initial power plays with the kids, their life felt “turned upside down.”
But over the next few months, something changed. “I woke up one morning, and it was quiet in the house,” Anders recalls. “And I was excited for everyone to come running into our room and wake us up. I realized I had crossed over at some point, and I really loved those kids.”
Longtime foster dad John Ireland says that this — the huge, rapid-fire feelings involved — is what outsiders don’t understand about the “instant family” experience.
“It doesn’t take long to fall in love with a kid you’re fostering,” says Ireland, who signed up to be a first-time foster parent with his husband, Duncan, back in 2004.
One year later, they had three baby girls living with them in their West Hollywood two-bedroom pad.
“Part of having an ‘instant family’ is that you make it work,” says Ireland, 48, today a stay-at-home father of four. “Instantly, you get the seats, you get the diapers, you get the food,” he says. “You’re gonna figure it out pretty quick.”
The couple went on to adopt one of the girls, daughter Emma, now 13, and eventually her biological siblings, too. Now, Giovanni, 11, as well as Anyiah, 4, and Kalem, 3, round out their unlikely clan.
“It’s a wonderful thing to see our four kids together, and know that the odds were totally against them,” says Ireland. “It is the greatest gift to us as a family that they get to grow up together.”