Ain’t that a kick in the nuts!
NJ squirrelq hunt lacks, uh, squirrels
Somewhere up there in the trees, the squirrels are laughing.
New Jersey hosted its first-ever “Squirrel Classic” hunting tournament Saturday — and although the weather was fine, the skinning-and-field-dressing workshop well attended, and the animal activists shouted “Murderers!” from safely across the street, there was still one tricky hitch. No squirrels. The wily critters are mostly dormant during the cold weather, and they wisely stayed away from the cross-fire hubbub of air-rifle shooting and activist protesting that was unfolding on their behalf thanks to the Inskip Antlers Hunting Club in rural Winslow.
Just three were killed and weighed, said Inskip’s treasurer, Kevin Maffei.
Only about two dozen hunters participated, and there had been a three-squirrel maximum per team of six.
“It’s not an overly great time if you want to kill an abundance of squirrels,” he admitted. “They’re not running around like you would think they would be.”
Still, everyone sallied forth, on schedule, with the squirrelly soiree.
Inside the club, “They taught how to field-dress it,” Maffei said. “How to skin them.”
“Squirrel skin is pretty hard to get off. There’s a method to it, but it is a pain to skin them. I just don’t bother,” said Maffei, who’s more of a deer hunter himself.
Then, lunchtime! “They had a tray of squirrel meat. You braise it slow and low, and season it,” he said. “You can sear it. You can put it in a gravy or a tomato sauce.”
And if “Chicken of the Tree” wasn’t to one’s taste, “they also had moose chili,” he said.
Meanwhile, outside, some 40 animal-rights activists were going nuts over the idea of introducing children to shooting animals.
“They were screaming at little kids in the parking lot — ‘Murderer!’ ” event spokesman Cody McLaughlin said of the protesters.
Speaking of nuts, some of the squirrel lovers’ signs hit a little below the belt.
“OH YOU MUST BE INBRED,” read one sign. “GOOD JOB ON RAISING FUTURE SERIAL KILLERS,” read another.