Weird BUT true

Tasty dessert? Shell no! A German smuggler was busted sneaking three live tortoises into the country in a cake box.

The unnamed 69-year-old man, who’d flown into Berlin from Cairo, was caught trying to slip through the “nothing to declare” area.

He claimed the endangered Moroccan tortoises were super-realistic “edible” chocolate treats. This crook’s a bell raiser. A man swiped a 70-pound bronze bell from the entrance of an elementary school in Olympia, Wash.

The bandit climbed up a ladder, removed the historic $2,000 bell and loaded it onto a truck at 4:20 a.m. March 9.

Now constituents have a beef with him.

A top cop in South Carolina allegedly blew $10,600 in tax money on trips to an all-you-can-eat buffet since 2015, according to a report.

Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott, who is accused of spending thousands to join a private club where members dine on cuts of tenderloin, allegedly plunked down the dough at Golden Corral in Columbia in 2015. He claimed the meals were morale boosters for fellow cops.

A runaway bovine broke loose from a truck in Indiana and hoofed it straight to a Chick-fil-A restaurant.

The mad cow temporarily snarled traffic in Hamilton Town Center when it bolted across a busy street and into the parking lot of the fast-food joint, prompting a wild chase and a viral video.

A New Jersey man returned an overdue library book — nearly 53 years after he borrowed it.

Harry Krame, 65, of Fair Lawn, said he checked out “The Family Book Of Verse” by Lewis Gannett from his school library when he was 13 and Lyndon Johnson was president.

He recently found the hardcover tome while cleaning out his basement, and felt guilty about keeping it all these years.