JERK SPARROW
GEE, JOHNNY, TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL Depp called Amber: ‘A gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless . . . 50 cent stripper’
Johnny Depp — whose roles include Capt. Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean” (left) — railed against his then-wife Amber Heard and accused her of an affair with Elon Musk, a court in London heard yesterday.
Even Edward Scissorhands can’t deliver cuts as nasty as these.
Johnny Depp, Hollywood’s Number 1 pirate, lowered the boom on his then-wife Amber Heard, describing the actress as a “witch,” “gold-digger” and “50cent stripper,” according to bombshell testimony on Friday.
As harsh as those insults were, the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star was just warming up.
“Low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless dangling overused flappy fish market,” he wrote in the 2016 text-message tirade to a friend in which he allegedly threw a fit over his suspicion that Heard was sleeping with Tesla founder Elon Musk.
“She’s begging for total global humiliation . . . she’s gonna get it,” he added in the texts, revealed in a London court on Friday over Depp’s salacious libel suit against the UK’s Sun newspaper.
The big screen’s Capt. Jack Sparrow even branded Musk (inset) with an insulting, nautical nickname: “Mollusk.”
“She sucked Mollusk’s crooked d--k and he gave her some s--t lawyers,” the text blast read.
But Depp also chillingly said he wanted karma to “take the gift of breath” from Heard.
The toxic texts, sent to talent agent Christian Carino, were just one bombshell from Friday’s testimony in the trial, in which Depp is suing The Sun’s publisher over a 2018 article that called him a “wife-beater.”
British press reports from the fourth day of proceedings in London’s High Court also included a chilling tape that was recorded one month before Depp and Heard’s divorce and which captured an allegedly knife-brandishing Depp urging Heard, “Cut me wherever you want . . . cut me!”
In a hushed voice, Depp tells the “Aquaman” star, “Cut! Cut! Cut!”
She pleads with him, “Put the knife down. Just put the f--king knife down. Don’t!”
Depp replies, “I wanna look at you. There’s a way for the pain to go away.”
The audio ends with Heard saying, “It doesn’t make it go.”
Other revelations from Friday’s testimony and evidence included:
Depp dubbed the actress “Amber Turd” after she allegedly defecated in their bed as a prank.
The mess was found in the couple’s Los Angeles marital bed by their cleaner, who sent a photo to Depp.
It was “Not left by a 3- or 4-pound dog,” Depp — who owned dogs with Heard — quipped on the stand.
Convinced that Musk was bedding his wife, Depp allegedly threatened in a text that he would cut off the SpaceX billionaire’s penis.
Both Heard and Musk have denied engaging in an affair, saying that their yearlong romance began only after the actress and Depp split.
Before their 2015 wedding, Heard sent out wedding rehearsal invites promising a “dance party and drugs” and, by Depp’s own admission, their nuptials were awash in controlled substances. “Seven p.m., rehearsal dinner, after-dance party and drugs and music,” the court was told the invites specified, The Sun reported on Friday. “That seems to be the plan,” Depp said when asked about Heard allegedly organizing that drugs be on hand for her pals, according to The Sun. Hear d mocked Depp as a male “victim of domestic violence” after he allegedly complained that she was the violent one in the relationship.
Depp once caused $10,000 in hotel-room damages as thengirlfriend Kate Moss slept nearby.
The New York hotel-room rampage happened in 1994 after a friend “screwed” him over, The Sun reported. Depp and the supermodel had dated for four years in the ’90s, when he was 31 and she was 20.
“Did you try to avoid paying damages for what you did? Did you refuse to accept responsibility for the damage?” Depp’s lawyer, David Sherborne, asked him in court on Friday.
“No, sir,” Depp replied. “I actually told the security guard when he came to my room that I was more than willing to pay for everything I had broken.”
Asked where Moss was at the time, Depp said, “She was in the bedroom sleeping.”
Depp, 57, has denied ever physically striking Heard, 34 — despite the actress’ claims to the contrary and photos of her bruised face — but he certainly hit her with words.
“I have no mercy, no fear and not an ounce of emotion, or what I once thought was love for this gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless dangling overused flappy fish market,” Depp allegedly texted three months after he said he had decided to divorce Heard.
‘I’m so f--king happy she wants to go to fight this out!!!” Depp allegedly continued.
“She will hit the wall hard!!!” the text warned.
“And I cannot wait to have this waste of a c-m guzzler out of my life!!! I met a f--king sublime little Russian here . . . Which made me realize the time I blew on that 50 cent stripper.”
Depp added, “But, NOW, I will stop at nothing!!!
“Let’s see if Mollusk has a pair . . . Come see me face to face . . . I’ll show him things he’s never seen before . . . Like, the other side of his d--k when I slice it off,” he wrote.
The Sun is arguing in its defense that it based the article in question on reports of domestic violence by Depp.
The paper says the actor threw a magnum bottle of champagne at Heard during a fight in their Los Angeles penthouse on her 30th birthday.
Heard was furious that he had missed a sit-down dinner with her and her pals and claims Depp attacked her because he “didn’t like being criticized,” a lawyer for the actress claimed in court on Friday.
“The argument picked up pace and you picked up a magnum bottle of champagne and you threw it at her, but it missed and the glass smashed,” lawyer Sasha Wass told Depp in court.
“You grabbed Ms. Heard by the hair and pushed her onto the bed,” the lawyer continued, according to the Evening Standard.
“When she tried to leave, you blocked the bedroom door and you tried to grab her hair.”
Depp then pushed Heard to the ground by her hair, the lawyer said, adding that the fight ended with the actor “bumping chests” with his wife and leaving behind a note reading, “Happy f--king birthday.”
“She was rather angry and aggressive,” Depp countered, while admitting he was “in a very low state of mind” after a distressing business meeting — and may have been high on marijuana.
Friday was Depp’s last day on the witness stand after a grueling week. Testimony will continue Monday morning.