Woke grinches will cancel us inch by inches

ON the second day of March I got out of my bed And what did I see That mixed up my head?

Thing One and Thing Two Were locked up in chains My good pals, those sweet imps

Were now writhing in pain!

“Chins up and let’s roll,” Said I to my boys “The Cat in the Hat Is here to make noise!”

“No, no,” said one Thing. “We can’t come to play. The correctness police Are to keep us at bay.”

“How’s that?” said I “Have you lost all your spark?

Let’s jump off of couches You sound like a narc!”

“You don’t see what’s happened,”

They told me so sadly “The woke are in charge: They canceled us madly!”

“Woke?” said I, wholly bumfuzzled

Take you me for a fool? What is “woke” against us — The Lords of Misrule!”

“We break things and shake things

We rattle the scolds We cause mischief and chaos —

We shatter all molds!”

“Not now, it’s not true This is twenty-twenty one

They say we’re offensive We had too much fun!”

“How can fun be in danger?”

I asked them, quite vexed “Are they trying to troll us?

Is this some kind of flex?”

“Worse than that, it is said,”

Is what was said by my Things,

“Fox in Sox is a racist, One Sneetch votes rightwing.

“When called upon in diversity class The Grinch who stole Christmas

Failed to say ‘Yass’

“Yertle the Turtle Said some Zionist stuff And Horton heard a Who Call Cultural Appropriation a bluff.

“Marvin K. Mooney Was found guilty of mansplaining

Then we heard Hop on

Pop

Hates inclusivity training.

“Oh well,” said my Things, Just before they were muzzled

“The world’s gone insane. It’s a kind of dumb-duzzle.”

“This happened on the birthday

Of old Doctor Seuss?” I said as I struggled To believe this refuse.

When Mother came home the fish told her

All of the thinks that we thought

And explained that we did it When we knew we ought not.

So now we’re all stuck In this woke training class. As the Things learn of Thing privilege

I pass gas on this class, which can kiss my cat ass.