Meg didn’t like being 2nd

I’M no TV columnist, whose job is to rate any television show. Now that we’ve established that, and I’m probably next in line for impeachment, I therefore will talk about Oprah Winfrey’s Sunday show.

First, His ex-Royal Highness Prince Empty wouldn’t know his crest from a hole on the ground. His socks were as short as his smarts. When he crossed his leg, the skin showed. Even unemployed peasants know that’s a no-no.

Me Me Meghan did not need to hit Google — as she claimed — to learn discipline and manners and Palace 101. When you sign on to take a job, you are responsible for its ethics and ethos. You learn how it works. You are responsible for its ways and means — hours, duties, wardrobe, attitude, culture. That’s before you decide you’ll change their rigid ways.

Where was Prince Empty? He was so busy? Certainly not sorting out his sock drawer. He should’ve gotten her a palace tutor. Learn the ways of this new job. How you carry your purse, how you handle Her Majesty, how you stand, sit, converse, what are your duties, the no-nos and yes-yeses. She knew enough to get a hairdresser for this sit-down. She knew enough to get two side hairs to flop down her face, which she kept schlepping back so they didn’t impede the open mouth.

When you get cast in an acting role, you study it, memorize, practice. She came onto this royal set an egotistical ambitious amateur? She could’ve memorized the rules. Learn to play with the cast. The only throne she can sit on is the one in her own loo. She got what she wanted. Fame, money, TV, career, a temporary title, wife of Prince Empty, a baby. She looked well, walked well, dressed well, plotted well — she just didn’t get to be the leading lady. She didn’t get to be the empress. She had ego, not smarts. She blew the audition.