Pop the popcorn, it’s . . .

LET me get this straight: Nutjob Democrats almost unanimously back a cockamamie supervillain scheme to remake an evenly divided country into a socialist wonderland with a $4.3 trillion spending extravaganza — but they might just blow the whole thing, and a stupid infrastructure package, too, because of petty infighting?

I’m loving it!

This is trash television at its finest: “Tiger King” with sharper claws. (Because he’s more or less the only sane Dem around, Joe Manchin is a highly unusual fellow: You could almost say he’s Joe Exotic.)

The media coos with delight whenever there’s even a trivial episode of Republican infighting, and continues to do so even though Republicans are out of power and the party’s animating figure is a strange guy who lives on a golf course in Florida and thinks Stacey Abrams would make a good governor of Georgia. Liz Cheney! Mitt Romney! Adam Kinzinger! Mitch McConnell! Brian Kemp! Any time there is any disagreement between any GOP figures, the media gives us breathless all-access fight coverage.

That’d be fair enough if any of it mattered, but it’s all just gossip when the folks who enjoy total unified control are the Democrats. To coin a phrase, they’re in disarray.

Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts, one-fourth of the “Squad,” sternly warned Tuesday that a majority of the 96 members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus that wants to turn us into 1976 Britain will not vote to pass the infrastructure bill until they get the reconciliation bill passed. The nation’s roads and bridges are tied to a chair, sweat pouring out of their eyeballs, as they wait for a dramatic rescue that may never come. I haven’t seen such exciting hostage negotiations in Washington since “24’ went off the air.

All of the carping and vamping and preening and faking, though, turns the show into something more like “Real Socialists of D.C.” Fellow Squadster Ilhan Omar was seen holding hands on the Hill with Nancy Pelosi. But does the hot-tempered Minneapolis newcomer really trust the ice-creamfueled San Fran octogenarian zillionaire? Tune in to see Rashida Tlaib, the battlin’ Palestinian, denounce Pelosi for her “betrayal” by trying to sneak through infrastructure without funding the socialist manifesto.

Comic relief is provided by the Upper West Side’s own bumbler next door, Jerry Nadler, who vows to solve America’ s debt problems by minting a trillion-dollar coin. And, as always, the show promises to hit a climactic moment with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez bursting into tears as she contemplates the prospect of Israeli Jews continuing to protect themselves from terrorists using the Iron Dome instead of graciously consenting to being murdered.

Republicans may be out of power, but that means we get to kick back in the La-Z-Boy and pop up some Orville Redenbacher’s.

At least for a day or two, because the Democrats are clearly bluffing. I’m committing these words to print: You’re bluffing, bluffing, bluffing. You’re full of shinola, bushwa and malarkey. Prove me wrong, comrades! Stand up for your socialist principles and stomp all over the infrastructure bill. Bipartisan it may be, but maybe not for long, not with Joe Biden’s approval ratings sinking to the level of room temperature in a meat locker. We should be so lucky as to have both of these unnecessary and breathtakingly expensive bills fall apart.

If the Squaddies want to fix it so the dumb infrastructure bill and the dumber reconciliation bill hold hands and go over the cliff together, America will well and truly be back.

Don’t back down, Squaddies, what I call the country regaining a little fiscal sanity you may feel free to call a colossal moral victory.