Crime lawyer gets booked
JAMES Patterson’s given 3 million books to kids, $70 million to education, endowed 5,000 scholarships, and — although Matthew, Mark, Luke and John might quibble — he’s supposedly Earth’s best-selling author.
Little, Brown just published his newest book, “The Defense Lawyer.” It’s about superlawyer Barry Slotnick. Forget landlord/tenant kerfuffles. We’re talking headline cases. Like repping “Dapper Don” John Gotti. Like defending Subway Shooter Bernie Goetz. Like Colombo crime family’s Joe Colombo.
Like the Gambino crime family’s tiny unkind habits. Like the Genovese crime family’s Vincent “The Chin” Gigante dressing in a bathrobe pretending to be nuts. Like negotiating Melania
Trump ’s prenup.
Like mediating
Bette Midler’s bathhouse contract, being General Noriega’s pick, handling movie star Anthony Quinn’s divorce.
Sharp suits, sharp mind, sharp courtroom shticks, Slotnick, born NYC, practiced NYC, lives NYC, never lost a major case. Threatened, shot at, he dodged some hits. A secret code told his wife Donna where to hide when those guns came out. In the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, early 2000s Slotnick was known as the best criminal lawyer in the US.
Once Bullets, Gigante’s adored German shepherd, was nearly euthanized for supposedly biting a third victim. Gigante threatened to destroy the building holding him and its keepers if Bullets wasn’t released. Slotnick, who could seemingly solve anything, said, “Relax. I’ll get him out.” He filled the courtroom with breeders’ lookalike German shepherds then asked the complainant, “OK, so which one did it?” Bullets got sprung that day. Stuart Slotnick,
Donna and Barry’s supersuccessful lawyer son, supervised this book. Like reprising P. Diddy Combs’ child support case, a Ron Perelman lawsuit, a Cantor Fitzgerald litigation, Lloyds of London
after Vegas’ Steve Wynn accidentally stuck his thumb through a $100 million Picasso painting. Patterson’s acknowledgments also thank my close friend memories. Like visiting Subway Shooter Bernie Goetz whose live live-in chinchilla pet greeted me.
“The Defense Lawyer” is a great read.
Scene & heard
BILLY Joel walking — supposedly incognito — with his family on the UES . . . FOLKS who keep B’way running are worried about the winter . . . NOBODY knows nothing. One specialist: You can come for checkup, but results can still emerge as positive although generally no longer transmissible three to five days after symptoms resolve %%$#@?! . . . LISA Carroll just wrote the book “The Big Bad Coronavirus: And How We Can Beat It!” How she knows and the know-it-alls don’t know, who knows.
OVERHEARD at the Think coffee shop at Hudson Yards: “Can I get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”
Answer: “I’m sorry our chef just left.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.