Office return is frisky business

I will actually have a reason to meet people in real life.

— A Bank of America employee

More than a third of single white-collar workers think returning to the office will help their sex lives, according to a survey.

“Sex can happen,” one single and ready-to-mingle employee of NBCUniversal wrote in response to the survey. “Few jobs require people after 8.”

A Bank of America employee, meanwhile, gushed that returning to work will help them get lucky because “I will actually have a reason to meet people in real life.”

While 35% of available office workers think in-person work will help their sex lives, 49% said it won’t make a difference. Just 16% believe it will make their sex lives worse, according to the survey of more than 2,500 office workers by corporate gossip site Blind.

Singles at some firms are more excitable than others.

Fifty percent of singles at Capital One, Cisco, Nvidia and Salesforce said returning to in-person work would help them get lucky, while 40% at Amazon and T-Mobile said the same.

Meanwhile, at Uber — which has tried to clean up its culture in recent years after enduring a string of sexual-harassment scandals — just 16% of singles said in-person work would help their sex lives, compared with 32% who said it would hurt.

At JPMorgan Chase, where boss Jamie Dimon recently softened his stance on in-person work, 20% of bachelors and bachelorettes think working in-person will help them in the bedroom.

Thirty-two percent of single employees at Meta and 33% of solo workers at Google said the same. One single “Googler” wrote that in-person work won’t affect their sex life because they’re already getting action. “Hinge and Tinder still exist,” the Google employee said.

Out of workers who are in relationships, 57% said in-person work will have no effect on their sex lives, while 18% said it would help and 25% said it would hurt.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” wrote one employee of “League of Legends” developer Riot Games who’s in a relationship.

Blind verifies users’ employment through their corporate email addresses.