WE MET ON CRINGE
Meet-shaming leaves embarrassed couples covering their digital tracks
Sidney and Mike Lee have been married for nearly five years — but their families will only learn about how they actually met after reading this article.
Their nearest and dearest think the couple first locked eyes at a bar in Manhattan. That’s when, as the vague story goes, Mike, 30, approached Sidney, 26, and asked to buy her a drink.
But in reality, the couple had actually first spotted each other while swiping right on Tinder.
Uncomfortable talks
“I wasn’t gonna be like, ‘Hey, he was supposed to be a one-night stand, but we ended up dating and now we’re getting married after three months,’ ” Sidney told The Post with a laugh. “I feel like it would have led to conversations we weren’t comfortable having.”
In today’s digital age, most couples meet online and a recent report found that the majority of users (63%) created a dating profile with the intention to start a serious relationship and 31% logged in hoping to meet their future spouse. And yet, some people are still reluctant to admit that they signed up to find a significant other.
“I think people are embarrassed [that] they were looking for love,” dating expert Talia Koren told The Post, even if dressing up and going out on the prowl in real life is just as intentional. Jaron Simone Marshall, 25, told The Post she initially felt “dorky” and “desperate” at the thought of telling her family she met her boyfriend Dean Wiseman, 26, on Hinge in 2020. And so the New York City native said that she met her boyfriend at a bar when he offered to buy her a drink — a classic cover story. “I think I was just kind of trying to avoid any conflict or confusion or doubt” about the relationship, Marshall explained.
Lindsey Metselaar, host of the popular relationship podcast and Instagram “We Met at Acme,” acknowledges that online dating is still weirdly stigmatized for being a “forced” and “desperate” meeting. But she thinks it’s ridiculous, especially considering online dating is now the norm. “You’re thinking about it 100,000 times more than anyone else is,” she told The Post. Metselaar added that “feeling the need to lie about how you met someone can actually affect your relationship” and be a possible red flag.
“It could make them think that you don’t want to take them seriously, because you’re embarrassed of how you met, and that’s not a good foundation for a relationship,” she said, noting it’s important that couples are aligned on the story they share.
Of course, not every couple changes up their origin tale because they feel ashamed. Logan Strausman, 26, has no problem divulging he met his girlfriend Natalie Held, 23, on Hinge, he just gets a little bored with the basic story at times.
The Brooklynite has been known to tell people they met when they got trapped in an elevator; he gazed into her sparkling green eyes and consoled her until they were rescued. “I’m not embarrassed at all,” Strausman told The Post. “I think it’s just more interesting to have a story besides being on Hinge.” Marshall, meanwhile, finally came clean about how she met her boyfriend about a year into the relationship.
Meet-cute dreams
And while she said she grew up wanting to fulfill her rom-cominspired fantasy of a meet-cute at a coffee shop or bookstore, she notes she’s happier with her Hinge hottie than any person she ever met organically.
“At the end of the day, this is the healthiest and most authentic relationship that I’ve ever been in,” she said.