GIVE AND TAKE
A new study reveals that adoptions done ‘right’ can offer birth mothers what they need most: Choice and compassion
THE past year has not been good for the image of adoption. In the wake of the Dobbs decision rolling back abortion rights last June, the media has been filled with reports describing how adoption is “a traumatic event for everyone involved.”
Adult adoptees, for instance, have detailed the crises they’ve often faced in life, with some even comparing adoption to colonization or slavery. Then there are the concerns about potential for coercion pregnant women might face if abortion were to be restricted even further.
But is any of this actually relevant? Last year the American Enterprise Institute contracted with the National Opinion Research Center (NORC) to learn more about the demographics and experiences of birth mothers who placed their children up for adoption. Using data from Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children — the oldest adoption agency in New York — we were able to examine the outcomes for hundreds of women who opted for adoption between 2006 and 2020. NORC researchers examined more than 700 anonymous administrative records, surveyed 60 birth mothers online and conducted a number of in-depth interviews to get a sense of who these women were and how their lives unfolded after their babies were placed with adoptive parents.
Spence Chapin facilitates private adoptions in which a mother voluntarily decides to give up her child. (This is different from adoption out of the foster-care system, in which a child who has been abused or neglected has been permanently removed from their family by a state agency and placed with another family.) Spence Chapin presents all options (including abortion and financial/social support if they decide to keep their children).
For those who decide to give birth, the agency offers women “interim care,” that is, vetted volunteers will care for newborns for up to a month while the mother decides whether she wants to complete the adoption. Although interim care is a rare practice for agencies, it has the virtue of allowing mothers more time to make what is clearly a very difficult decision. This process also creates a kind of natural experiment where we can understand some of the factors associated with making this decision and compare those who end up parenting with those who opt for adoption.
The study’s results were intriguing. The average age of the mothers who decided on adoption was 27, compared to 24 for mothers who chose to parent. The group who chose adoption were more likely to have a bachelor’s degree, speak English and be white than the people who kept their babies. There were no major differences in the marital status of the two groups and their families were about equally likely to know about their decisions. These factors suggest that notions about women who choose adoption being coerced by family or community stigma may be outdated.
While it was an impossible choice for these women, Spence Chapin’s multi-pronged process seemed to help. Some 96% of the survey respondents said they found the interim baby care to be “helpful” or “extremely helpful.” As one participant told an interviewer, “Even though I was pursuing adoption, I was pretty clear . . . that I wasn’t going to . . . make my decision for sure until the baby had left my body because . . . I don’t know how I’m going to feel.”
The respondents also made clear that knowing their legal and emotional interests were being represented during this process was also very important. As one recalled, her social worker didn’t even use the term “birth parent” while she was pregnant because she wanted to leave open the possibility of her keeping the child. She said she appreciated that her social worker represented only her. “She didn’t have any adoptive families in her ear, being like, hey, like . . . can we get a kid?”
While there is older research suggesting that women who place children for adoption are "at risk for long-term physical, psychological, and social repercussions," the vast majority of participants in our study reported being extremely satisfied with their life outcomes. Of those who responded to the survey, 78% reported being either satisfied or extremely satisfied with their “emotional well-being,” 82% with their “physical safety,” 71% with their “romantic relationships,” 80% with their family, and 81% with their careers. Though the survey participants were self-selecting and it is hard to generalize about all adoptive mothers, the reports suggest that for many women, life after placing a child for adoption is not simply a story of trauma.
Spence Chapin mothers also appreciated the choices they had for families in which to place their babies. These include same-sex couples, couples of all faiths and races. And most were satisfied with the ongoing contact they had with their children — all the adoptions were open.
If there are communities that, in the wake of Dobbs, find themselves with more unwanted babies, it's crucial that our adoption practices be as fair, compassionate and transparent as possible. Understanding the needs of birth mothers is the first step.
Americans mostly have positive views of adoption. But too often we allow pundits and politicians to disparage the institution without bothering to research the experiences of those involved. Sharing these experiences is the best way to serve mothers and children. This report is a necessary first step toward making that happen.