Comedic license
From Ellen DeGeneres to Uncle Ben’s, nothing is off limits in this new guide to surviving cancel culture
YOU may know Jimmy Failla as the flamboyant, fast-talking conservative comic who’s gained a grand following with his hilarious anti-woke commentaries as kickers for shows on Fox News.
Now the ex-New York cabbie has packed his brash bon mots into a new book, “Cancel Culture Dictionary: An A-to-Z Guide to Winning the War on Fun” (Harper Collins).
According to the often-raunchy Failla, it’s a “step-by-step guide on how everybody can live their life in a way that will recalibrate society. It’s not a call to arms. It’s a call to chill the f--k out.”
A decade ago, Failla’s first book — “Follow That Car!: A Cabbie’s Guide to Conquering Fears, Achieving Dreams, and Finding a Public Restroom”— was intended to help folks navigate more quotidian concerns. This time, Failla’s on-the-mark observations directly target our culture’s current (and craven) obsession with political correctness:
“People behind cancel culture are basically deploying weaponized censorship and not censoring things because they’re offended, but because there’s a currency that comes with saying you’re offended.”
Targets in the book by Failla, 48, include woke and unwoke headliners of the recent past, among them trans activist beer pusher Dylan Mulvaney; “Be Kind” lesbian talkshow hostess Ellen DeGeneres; beloved packaged-food icons Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben, and a cornucopia of other people and products whacked by the outraged social justice mob.
Bud Light, for instance, took a major financial hit last year when the company placed the image of transgender TikTok influencer Mulvaney on the side of a cold one at a time when biological men had begun — to the outrage of many — competing in women’s sports. The resulting public outcry placed trans issues in the center of America’s culture wars just as Mulvaney began documenting her gender transition to her 10 million social media followers.
Lucrative endorsements, like the ill-fated Bud Light tie-up, soon followed including Bud Light.
“That was the moment,” writes Failla, “when social media went full French Revolution on the King of Beers, sending any and all profits to the guillotine.”
Former sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres got canceled from her daytime show in 2023, a happy talk program based on her motto of “Be Kind.”
But not so, according to Failla. DeGeneres, who once gave one of her dear pet chickens to pals Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, was actually ‘"notoriously one of the meanest people alive,’” he writes.
In his book, he alleges that the former “Ellen” star would send staffers to take a shower if she detected an odor, had a waitress fired for chipped nail polish, and forbid eye or verbal contact backstage. Despite her crowd-pleasing dancing and theatrics, DeGeneres’ set was described as little more than a “hostile work environment.”
Declares Failla: “Rumor has it that ex-staffers applied to work someplace safer — like Ukraine.”
Back in the Black Lives Matter summer of 2020, meanwhile, cities across the country were on fire and one key target was breakfast staple Aunt Jemima, which was retired after a TikTok user posted a video called, “How to Cook Breakfast Without Being Racist.” It seems that the beloved pancake icon who debuted 130 years ago reinforced racial stereotypes.
Writes Failla, “I had no idea Aunt Jemima had been around that long — she’s now 134. Same age as Mitch McConnell.”
The Mars company got on board with the pancake maker and ended the long run of another legendary black product endorser, Uncle Ben, of Uncle Ben’s rice fame, declaring, “Racism has no place in society.”
Uncle Ben’s famous face was actually Frank Brown, a waiter at a Chicago restaurant, and when the rice was shelved, Brown’s family’s income from years of residuals was also canceled.
As Failla, now hosting a new Fox show, “Fox News Saturday Night,” writes:
“Canceling TV shows and syrup logos have done nothing to boost test scores for kids trapped in failing inner-city schools.”
That same rioting summer of 2020, liberal activists — including New York Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — called for the defunding of police departments across the country, and crime soared.
“When the game is on the line, you’re always going to pick the boys in blue over the persons with the blue hair,” writes Failla.
Not surprisingly the pandemic vaccine gets a hit from Failla.
He writes that powerful podcaster Joe Rogan mentioned ivermectin as an alternative COVID treatment in 2021, and the singer Neil Young threatened to pull his music off Spotify if it didn’t cancel Rogan’s podcast in response. Young did and Spotify didn’t cancel.
“This is a win for all of us because Americans have every right to question our government’s motives, especially when it involves our health and a massive shift on a vaccine mandate that they turned out to be wrong about,” Failla writes.
“My problem was not that politicians about-faced on the vaccine; it’s that the vaccine didn’t work as advertised,” the author continued. “And to be super-duper clear, I’m not anti-vax. I’m just anti-bulls--t.
“I am vaccinated. Well at least that’s what it says on this card I bought on Craigslist.”