Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
MONEY MANNERS
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: What can we do about neighbors from hell? My family lives in a nice, middle-class, difficult-to-duplicate neighborhood — nice, that is, except for the creeps who live across the street. They’re a bunch of unemployed, belligerent, ex-con alcoholics who live with their mother (she owns the house). The police quiet them down when their drunken parties get too noisy. But we can’t call the police every time there’s a foul-mouthed shouting match on the lawn, and the police have been unable to do anything about the loud cars with loud music that come and go at all hours. What can we do? My wife and I don’t want to move. But even if we did, we fear the law would require us to disclose upfront the presence of nuisance neighbors. — Despairing
DEAR DESPAIRING: Unless you’re prepared to hire a higher class of criminal to persuade Ma Barker and her boys to move, you have only two options: One is to get together with your other neighbors and see if, as a group, you can come up with enough money to buy out the mother (once you do, you can turn around and resell the house). We know, this runs into serious money. But it’s difficult to believe that buying her out and then reselling the home could cost more than the loss in home values you and your neighbors are experiencing as a result of her family’s presence.
Not a viable plan? Then your only choice is to move. Yes, in selling your home you’ll probably be required to disclose that you’ve frequently called the police regarding noisy neighbors. And yes, as a result, you’ll then get less than your house would otherwise be worth. But your neighbors from hell are unlikely to change, no matter how many police officers you call or how many lawyers you hire to crack down on them. If you want peace of mind, you need to put them in your rearview mirror. And the only way that’s going to happen is if you move.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: After my divorce last year, two couples my ex and I were close to have continued to ask me to join them when they go out to dinner together, which is often. I’m glad to have their company and their friendship, but what I don’t like is that they never let me pay. While I appreciate their graciousness, I’m not in any sort of financial need (they know this), and their behavior makes me feel like a charity case. What
should I do?
— Tracy DEAR TRACY: Be pre-emptive. The next time you’re out with your friends, find a moment to take the waiter aside and tell him you want the check handed to you. Then when it comes, grab it and — here’s the crucial step — don’t let go. Thank your friends for their kindness, but insist that it’s your turn to treat them. Repeat the process every four or five meals and you’ll have no reason to feel like a charity.
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