No poll needed to determine that holidays bring stress

A poll I wasn’t surprised to see in existence: What Americans Dread Most About the Holidays.

Specifically, it’s the Consumer Reports Holiday Poll, the latest of which reveals that “while nine in 10 of us delight in the season, we’re dreading some of the traditions, folderol, and stressors that come with it.” In November, Consumer Reports National Research Center polled 1,007 adults ages 18 and older, 77 percent of whom planned to shop this holiday season. They were given 13 dread-worthy aspects of the holiday season, and asked to rank the things they dread the most, according to the magazine’s news release.

The most compelling finding is: A significant number of holiday stressors are, for many of us, (drum roll, please) stressors all throughout the year!

Take, for instance, those items that made the top of the list.

Crowds and long lines (64 percent of respondents). These are dread-worthy in any situation that would give rise to them … any time of the year. July? Why wait to dread long lines and tidal-wave crowds at Christmas when we can dread them during late-summer tax-free shopping weekends, at buffet restaurants after church on any given Sunday or during early Saturday afternoons at the What’s- Hap’nin’Now grocery/discount chain stores?

Aggressive or thoughtless driving in shopping centers (55 percent) and bad traffic (54 percent).

No way are these reserved for Christmastime around these here parts, and it’s definitely not reserved for shopping centers. To borrow from the state’s old motto, Arkansas is the Land of Opportunity … year-round equal opportunity for blues song-inducing vehicle operation. (Apparently, the dread of long lines, nasty drivers, traffic and debt played out in Black Friday in-store shopping proceeds, which were down 10 percent — more than $1 billion — according to ShopperTrak.)

Weight gain (35 percent). Being middle-aged (the median age of those polled was 45) and merely glancing at a plate of good ol’ Southern cooking puts us at risk for weight gain every day of the year.

Debt ( 32 percent). A Christmastime thing? So what about New Year’s Eve debt (clothes, party tickets, the food and booze tab for party hosts); Valentine’s Day debt (the present, the candy, the red and pink stuffed animals, the getaway); St. Patrick’s Day debt ( gotta pay that green-beer tab!); Easter debt (clothes it will still be too cold to wear, along with baskets, bunnies, dinner and one’s Reese’s Eggs fix); Memorial Day and Labor Day debt (gotta buy those white clothes, then store and replace ’em in the fall, right?); July 4 debt (barbecue bills, which we’ll also have for Memorial Day and Labor Day); and back- to- school debt (clothing, supplies, tuition, books, dorm stuff ). There’s football season debt (food, beer, T-shirts/jerseys, the game-day body paint for bare-chested male fans); and hey, we know Thanksgiving trappings weren’t free. And that’s just the holiday/special-occasion stuff.

Other dreads mentioned, but not restricted to this time of year:

Gift shopping (26 percent). Really … can’t I just give you the birthday/wedding/anniversary money since chances are I’m going to home in on the very thing you don’t need?

Traveling ( 19 percent). As I’ve said before, I’d love to have the money and time to travel. But it’s the getting there that isn’t so fun, whether it’s being a piece of cattle in an airport herd or, as was my situation this year, driving back from a Missouri Thanksgiving in unrelenting rain.

Having to attend gatherings, parties or events ( 19 percent). Actually, the dread-worthy aspect of these events all 12 months of the year is the very act of getting ready for them — especially in the case of we women, who made up 52 percent of those polled. We have to get the clothing, the hair and the makeup together — then get to the event, then get situated at the event. Once all that’s accomplished, we can have fun! Or fall asleep because we’re tired from all the prep work and logistics.

Still in full holiday dread mode? Remember: It could be much worse. You could be forced to eat fruitcake — all times of the year. Hope you’re looking forward to emailing:

hwilliams@arkansasonline.com