Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Shark Week lurks, offers respite from politics
Tonight is the final night of the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, so I can’t say with certainty what will happen.
I’ll go out on a limb here and predict that Hillary Clinton will accept her party’s nomination and make a speech that says stuff like electing Donald Trump will usher in the new Dark Ages and end life as we know it on planet Earth.
I also predict she’ll be wearing a spiffy new pantsuit and bring out husband Bill at the end. I wouldn’t be surprised if daughter Chelsea shows up with new baby Aidan in tow.
It’ll be a Kodak moment (kids, ask your grandparents about actual printed photographs).
Of course, the 24-hour cable news channels have been covering every sparrow that falls from the sky at the DNC, as they did for the Republicans last week in Cleveland. But if you only want to watch tonight’s prime-time conclusion and balloon drop, PBS coverage begins at 7 p.m. The broadcast networks (NBC, ABC, CBS) wrap things up with an hour at 9 p.m.
If you’re not into politics, there is always alternate programming.
Ripper Street. For the anxious readers who keep asking about this British period police procedural, the fourth season finally kicks off at 9 p.m. today on BBC America. The series, starring Matthew Macfadyen as workaholic Detective Inspector Edmund Reid, was almost canceled after Season 2, but has rallied and soldiered on.
The six episodes of Season 4 open in 1897 with Reid having given up his detective work. He’s living quietly by the sea with his daughter, Mathilda (Anna Burnett). But he is called back to service to investigate a case that has condemned old friend Isaac Bloom (Justin Avoth) to hang for murder.
A fifth season is already on tap.
Mondo bizarro. I know it’s been hotter than blazes lately, but if you want to watch something totally nonpolitical at 9 p.m. today try The Weather Channel’s Strangest Weather on Earth.
This hourlong third episode of the second season is titled “Godzillicle” and deals with giant killer icicles, those weird blue lights we sometimes notice above storm clouds, mini weather systems created by mushrooms, and what’s up with that ominous green haze that’s in Moscow.
SHARK TV
Finally, fans of Syfy’s cheesy and sharky offerings, already know that this is a special, special week. It’s all designed to get us jazzed for Sunday’s glorious premiere of Sharknado: The 4th Awakens. More on that epic adventure in Sunday’s column.
Here’s what to watch today, Friday and Saturday on Syfy. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus,
noon today. Some say this is the best acting ever done by Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson. The film features two monstrous prehistoric creatures terrorizing the California coast.
Roboshark, 2 p.m. today. The you-know-what hits the fan when a great white shark chomps on an alien space probe and turns into a Roboshark that eats Seattle.
3-Headed Shark Attack, 4 p.m. today. It’s a great white shark. It has three heads. It’s after the passengers on a cruise ship. That’s all you need to know.
Swamp Shark, 6 p.m. today. C-listers Kristy Swanson
(Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
and D.B. Sweeney (Life as We
Know It) star in this thriller where a shark gets dumped in a backwoods river, starts stalking swimmers and puts the bite on the town’s annual Gator Fest.
Ozark Sharks, 8 p.m. today. Think you’re safe from sharks way up in the hills? Wrong. An ideal family vacation on a lake in the Ozarks turns tragic when a gaggle of bull sharks takes a chunk out of the town’s big fireworks festival.
Shark Attack, 8 a.m. Friday. Mutant hammerheads terrorize the coast of Africa. The film features Casper Van Dien, Ernie Hudson, Jenny McShane and Bentley Mitchum. Shark Attack 2, 10 a.m. Friday. Yes, there was a sequel! This time, mutant great whites terrorize Cape Town, South
Africa. Edward Burns (The Brothers McMullen, Saving Private Ryan) stars as “Surfer
Guy 2.”
Sharknado, 6 p.m. Saturday. It’s the world famous original about a freak storm that rains down sharks on Los Angeles. The surprise hit saved what remained of the careers of Ian Ziering (Beverly Hills 90210) and Tara Reid (American Pie). Sharknado 2: The Second
One, 8 p.m. Saturday. The sequel finds a freak storm raining sharks on New York. Our heroes return to save the day.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! airs at 5 p.m. Sunday, immediately before Sharknado 4. The TV Column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Email:
mstorey@arkansasonline.com