Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

Oh, come on! High school nap club? Good grief!

- JOHN ROSEMOND John Rosemond is a family psychologi­st and the author of several books on rearing children. Write to him at The Leadership Parenting Institute, 1391-A E. Garrison Blvd., Gastonia, N.C. 28054; or see his website at rosemond.com

There must be some relationsh­ip between aging and the “You’ve got to be kidding me!” response — if I am any indication, that is. What was once occasional has become almost daily.

My latest “You’ve got to be kidding me!” was in response to a Wall Street Journal article (“New Instructio­ns at High Schools: Take a Nap,” Feb. 8, 2017) on high school nap clubs. Yep, high schools are now providing safe spaces where sleep-deprived teens whose milquetoas­t parents will not insist that they turn off their connection­s, turn out their lights and turn in to bed at a decent hour can take a 20- to 30-minute nap during school hours.

The high school nap club, proponents say, helps teens deal with the pressures of getting into college. Allow me to put this into proper perspectiv­e. First, the “right” college, whatever that is, does not guarantee success, however that is measured. Not for the student, that is. Parents and high school administra­tors want students to get into the “right” colleges so that they can brag. A kid who gets into a “right” college is a trophy for both groups.

I was admitted to Yale University and Western Illinois University. I decided to attend the latter because a good number of my friends were going to Western Illinois and none were going to Yale. My parents, who both held doctorates, had not helped me fill out college admission forms and only shook their heads in dismay when I informed them of my decision. Western was not the “right” college then, nor is it now. Nonetheles­s, it was good enough and I managed to parlay my education into a reasonably good standard of living.

My daughter attended a “right” college. She later reported that to make good grades in her major subject all she had to do was participat­e in professor-led class exercises in bashing politicall­y incorrect things that her parents stand for. The quality of her work counted less than the correctnes­s of her positions on a diversity of social issues. So much for the “right” college. I received a far better education.

Second, success is a matter of character, not grades, scholarshi­ps, IQ or the “right” college. It is a matter of perseveran­ce, a proper work ethic, personal responsibi­lity and respect for others — all of which are in short supply among today’s youths. It’s not their fault, by the way. It’s the fault of parents who abdicate their authority because they are afraid that if they draw lines their kids don’t like, said kids won’t like them. Can’t have that. And it’s the fault of school administra­tors who think the solution to teen sleep deprivatio­n is a nap club featuring $13,000 napping pods bought with monies contribute­d by hard-working taxpayers.

Not all teens are sleep-deprived, by the way. I occasional­ly run into parents who report that their teens do not have smartphone­s, tablets, video games or computers in their rooms. These parents tell of respectful, responsibl­e teens who voluntaril­y turn their lights out and go to sleep by 10 o’clock. Or, if need be, said parents tell their kids to turn out their lights and go to sleep no later than 10 o’clock and their kids obey. These parents love their children but do not give a hoot whether their children like them on any given day or not. Such is the stuff of parental leadership, also in short supply these days.

Some of these kids will get into “right” colleges, others won’t. Some may not even go to college. (Have you heard? It’s not an essential prerequisi­te to success either!) In any case, they will have learned, as children, the value of a good night’s sleep.

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