Don’t shoot Newt!

Jasper, Ark., bags a record elk

HE WEIGHS 350 pounds, stands 9 feet tall, and should stop traffic in soon-to-be-bustling downtown Jasper, Ark. His antlers are due to come in by the time the statue gets its grand unveiling this month at the 20th annual Buffalo River Elk Festival, when all eyes should be on its most prominent new resident, Newt the Elk, as he makes his debut. “If we put the antlers on now, we won’t be able to get it out the garage door,” said Alderman Michael Thomas, who’s also a state trooper and stage manager for Newton County’s latest tourist attraction of so many. For as our good neighbors in Oklahoma are wont to say, all roads here lead to roam.

Newt’s antlers, like the latest in computerized dental implants, are first screwed on, then they’ll be tackwelded to his massive head to make sure they’ll be as permanent as they can be in this ever transient world. The big buck, all of bronze-plated aluminum, is environmentally kosher, too, for he’s made of recycled materials and is green underneath his deerskin— though he’ll look as if he were made of bronze as he ages gracefully at the corner of Court and Stone streets on Arkansas 7. The perfect setting for this monument to nature in the Natural State.

Newt (short for Newton County) was named by Jasper’s mayor, Her Honor Jan Larson, who clearly knows what’s in a name: a lot. Thanks to free-will offerings, Newt was bought from a company in Boulder, Colo. Newt’s slab has already been poured with care. He’s to face the intersection so townspeople and tourists can appreciate the full effect. With his head turned to his right above his impressive shoulders, Newt should be king of all he surveys, holding court amongst those eager to snap a selfie with him. When they aren’t having lunch in a local eatery or sight-seeing.

“We’re doing this for economic development,” says Mayor Larson with her knack for stating the obvious. “We want people to stop. We want to create interest.” Consider it created, ma’am, for who wouldn’t want to see, pet, or just gaze in admiration at this roadside attraction? But if you’re not stalking deer, even artificial ones, there’s still plenty to see and do in Newt Country such as:

■ Visit fabled Triple

Falls.

■ Float the Buffalo River.

■ Tour the honestly named Emma’s Museum of Junk.

■ Stop by the Hilary Jones Wildlife Museum.

■ Have a good time with the kids at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch, complete with its zipline.

■ For only slightly more urban types, make a point of going to Spring Street Arts in the heart of Greater Jasper.

■ Try the Indian Creek Trail.

■ Or just camp out. Hey, it’s summertime and the living’s easy. Hunting, fishing, hiking, just gazing up at the starlit skies free of the cities’ light pollution. Enjoy Arkansas and specifically Jasper, where the welcome mat is always out. Just don’t shoot Newt, the city’s and the state’s newest star.