Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

Teen’s behavior draws strong words from concerned readers

- ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com

Dear Abby: Regarding “Needs a Playmate” (Feb. 15), I agreed with your advice to 7-year-old “Jessie’s” mom to make it clear that what happened was not her daughter’s fault, and that “Jason” was in the wrong. You also addressed Jason’s mother’s unwillingn­ess to deal with the issue. However, I don’t believe your advice went far enough.

What 13-year-old Jason did was not merely misbehavin­g. It was an attempt at sexual molestatio­n and a huge red flag. Chances are he has tried this behavior before, and likely succeeded. There is also the possibilit­y that Jason himself has been a victim or has been exposed to sexually arousing material. An investigat­ion should occur to locate other possible victims. The appropriat­e reaction to something like this is to contact the local authoritie­s and child

protective services. — Concerned Reader In Utah:

Dear Reader: Thank you for raising this issue. Other readers were also concerned that my advice did not go far enough. Read on:

Dear Abby: In many states, if there is a four-year age gap between children who engage in “sex play,” it may constitute a crime. In many counties, children’s services will step in to investigat­e whether Jason has also been abused or, more likely, is watching pornograph­y. Jason needs to be reported. — A Little Shocked In Dayton, Ohio Dear Abby: That 13-yearold boy attempted to sexually abuse Jessie, which is a crime. He may also have done other things to her that, at her age, she may not be able to understand were wrong. Her mom should have her examined by a physician and get a referral for counseling. The police should also be notified to investigat­e. Don’t forget — Jason has a younger sister who could be a victim, too.

He’s old enough to know his behavior is wrong, and without interventi­on he could repeat it. She may be at risk for being abused again and remain silent because she lost her friend when she told her mother what happened in the first place. Mom: Please don’t overlook this. — Nancy In New England

Dear Abby: When I watch videos on my laptop or phone, I usually use headphones so the noise doesn’t disturb others. If the video is funny, I laugh. Like most people, I love comedy and I love to laugh.

In recent months, however, my father has frequently made a point of telling me that my laughing is disturbing. He says the sound can be startling. Naturally, I feel guilty, and it tends to ruin the enjoyment of whatever I’m watching.

What do I do to resolve this source of conflict? Try not to laugh when he’s around? — Laughing Out Loud Dear L.O.L.: Try this: Because you know your sudden bursts of laughter startle your dad, view your videos in another room so you won’t disturb him.

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