Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - STYLE - BILLY GRA­HAM Write to Billy Gra­ham in care of Billy Gra­ham Evan­ge­lis­tic As­so­ci­a­tion, 1 Billy Gra­ham Park­way, Char­lotte, N.C. 28201 or visit the web­site at

DEAR REV. GRA­HAM: I lost my hus­band to can­cer a few months ago, and I don’t un­der­stand why my feel­ings are con­fused. On one hand I’m very thank­ful he’s gone and is now with Je­sus, be­cause he was suf­fer­ing so ter­ri­bly. But on the other hand I feel like my life has been ripped apart, and I feel empty and mis­er­able. What’s wrong with me?

— A.B. DEAR A.B: Noth­ing is wrong with you. You have ex­pe­ri­enced a ma­jor loss in your life, and it would be sur­pris­ing if you weren’t re­act­ing like this.

The most im­por­tant thing I can tell you is to as­sure you that God un­der­stands your grief. He also un­der­stands your feel­ings, which to you may seem con­tra­dic­tory and con­fus­ing. They aren’t con­tra­dic­tory or con­fus­ing to Him, be­cause He knows what you’re go­ing through. In fact, one of the Bi­ble’s most com­fort­ing truths is that God un­der­stands just how weak and frail we are, and yet He still loves us. The Bi­ble says, “As a fa­ther has com­pas­sion on his chil­dren, so the Lord has com­pas­sion on those who fear him; for … he re­mem­bers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14).

Al­though your email doesn’t go into de­tail, I sus­pect you have been deeply in­volved in your hus­band’s care, per­haps for years. Now all that has ceased, and al­though you’re thank­ful that his suf­fer­ing has ended, a ma­jor part of your life has changed. Now that he’s no longer with you, you even may feel use­less or aban­doned.

But you aren’t. God has other plans for your fu­ture. Ask Him to show you. And in the mean­time, take com­fort in the knowl­edge that your hus­band is now free from all the pain and lim­i­ta­tions of this life, and is safe for­ever with Je­sus. And some day you will be also.

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