Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - STYLE - BILLY GRA­HAM Write to Billy Gra­ham in care of Billy Gra­ham Evan­ge­lis­tic As­so­ci­a­tion, 1 Billy Gra­ham Park­way, Char­lotte, N.C. 28201 or visit the web­site at

DEAR REV. GRA­HAM: With God’s help I think I’ve truly for­given my ex-hus­band for all the prob­lems he caused us, but our four chil­dren (who are all adults now) say they’ll never for­give him. How can I help them get over their bit­ter­ness and anger? Or should I even try?

— R.McK. DEAR R.McK.: You should do everything you can to help them over­come their feel­ings. As I’ve of­ten said, bit­ter­ness and anger are like poi­sons to our hearts and minds that will de­stroy us if we let them, and they never solve any­thing.

And you have al­ready taken the first step to help them over­come these by deal­ing with your own emo­tions. Af­ter all, they may re­ject your words when you try to talk with them about this — but they can’t deny your at­ti­tude or your ex­am­ple. Di­vorce al­most al­ways brings with it feel­ings of deep hurt, be­trayal and anger. Don’t be sur­prised if it’s hard for them to over­come these — but it can hap­pen, with God’s help.

Else­where in your let­ter you men­tion how you came to re­al­ize that you needed to turn your bit­ter­ness and hurt over to Christ — and once you did, He helped you re­place them with His peace and love. En­cour­age your chil­dren to do like­wise — even if it’s only small steps at a time. The Bi­ble says, “Get rid of all bit­ter­ness, rage and anger … for­giv­ing each other just as in Christ God for­gave you” (Eph­esians 4:31-32).

The most im­por­tant thing you can do, how­ever, is to make Christ part of your life ev­ery day. The past is past; you can­not change it (and nei­ther can your chil­dren). But the fu­ture can be dif­fer­ent when Christ be­comes the cen­ter of our lives. May this become true of you — and of your chil­dren. bil­ly­gra­ham.org

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