The following parody is entirely fictitious.
“Sure, I can explain why our panel needs to collect more personal data on U.S. citizens. First, it’s not a new idea. Someone told us that William the Conqueror did it in 1085, and for all we know, William Clinton did it too.
“Without getting too far out in the weeds, my takeaway is that while the optics may be poor, there’s lots to unpack concerning voter fraud last year.
“Now here’s the thing—despite expected blowback from all the sore losers who say there’s no there there, we need to drill down into how dead illegals nearly elected a woman as president.
“That said, while everything is on the table, the reality is, we also need to double down on gathering voter-profile data to help assure that only real Americans are allowed to vote.
“Not to put too fine a point on it, let’s make no mistake, at the end of the day, our panel’s only goal is to move the needle in favor of fairness and transparency. And to provide a better litmus test for screening out undesirables.
“While our side does the heavy lifting of good government, the other side accuses us of throwing individual rights under the bus while they engage in politically problematic obstruction, kicking cans down the road, and masking reality with a plethora of empty clichés.”
DAVID L. HENDERSON
Hot Springs Village