Pitcher says prank battle will continue
Tampa Bay Rays starting pitcher Chris Archer served Houston Astros mascot Orbit with a “Declaration of Unfriendliness” before Monday’s game at Minute Maid Park in Houston.
During pregame warmups, Archer approached Orbit and handed him an official-looking, typed document that read:
“A state of discord has existed between Chris Archer of the Tampa Bay Rays and Orbit of the Houston Astros.
“Whereas general mischief and rascality has been among Orbit’s repeated trespasses, Chris Archer is hereby resolved to carry on a campaign of pranks, gags and hijinks in retaliation which include, but are not limited to, use of objects such as:
■ Water balloons
■ Whipped pies
■ Silly string
■ Small motorized vehicles ■ Bubblegum
■ Hand-crafted signage
And any of the considerable resources of a Major League clubhouse.”
Orbit argued with Archer, then wadded up the declaration and threw it on the ground.
Orbit decided to take matters into his own hands. Before Archer’s start against the Astros on Tuesday, Orbit gave him a chocolate bar and “electrolyte formula,” along with a card that read, “Since you’re starting today, please accept this token as an ‘olive branch’ for today. Enjoy this peace offering as you fuel up for the game.”
Rays nutritionist Ryan Harmon confiscated the items, then tweeted a photo that showed the “electrolyte formula” was actually a laxative.
“Sometimes you have to intervene when a team mascot tries to sabotage your starting pitcher,” Harmon tweeted with the photo.
Archer got a measure of revenge before Wednesday’s game, presenting Orbit with a degree from the “University of Raymond,” a nod to the Rays’ mascot Raymond. While Orbit was distracted, Archer and his teammates bombarded him with water balloons.
Orbit returned the favor during a game of “Orbit Says,” in which he tricked Archer into admitting he had passed gas.
Nothing to it
Hitting a hole-in-one is really, really hard. Hitting one in the middle of a professional golf tournament with TV cameras and spectators staring at you makes it even harder. And hitting one with a brand new Porsche Panamera Turbo Sport Turismo on the line? It’s downright difficult (well, it would be for this writer).
But apparently none of that fazed German professional golfer Marcel Siem as he strode up to the 17th hole at the Porsche European Open in Hamburg, Germany on Saturday. Porsche promised the keys to the Panamera to the first man at the tournament to hit a hole-in-one on the 170-yard hole. There was even a giant backdrop behind the tee with the words, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
Siem took that phrase to heart and responded in dramatic fashion, hitting the ball straight into the cup. No bounce, no roll — a bonafide slam dunk. As expected, Siem was more than a little excited, dancing and highfiving everyone in the crowd.
Never mind that this is Siem’s second time to win a car with his incredible aim. In 2014, Siem sunk his second shot on a par-4 at the Nedbank Golf Challenge in South Africa to win a Volvo V40 T5.
Tampa Bay Rays pitcher Chris Archer wasn’t a fan of the Houston Astros’ Orbit’s “rascality,” so he drafted and carried out a “Declaration of Unfriendliness” against the mascot.