Woman feels steam­rollered by in-laws in her own home

Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - CLASSIFIED MARKETPLACE - ABIGAIL VAN BUREN www.DearAbby.com

Dear Abby: My in-laws live in an apart­ment above our garage. It wasn’t my idea. It was a com­pro­mise with my hus­band.

They now want to move Grandma into a trailer in our back­yard! I am to­tally against it, and have voiced my opin­ion.

My hus­band is stressed out and isn’t ca­pa­ble of say­ing no to his par­ents. I have a feel­ing they are go­ing to move for­ward with this plan re­gard­less of my ob­jec­tions. I feel com­pletely dis­re­spected in my own home. Any ad­vice? — Dis­re­spected In Ohio Dear Dis­re­spected: You have a right to be re­spected in your home. If you don’t want it turned into a “fam­ily com­pound,” that’s your pre­rog­a­tive. Put your foot down and tell your hus­band that his par­ents liv­ing there was all the com­pro­mise you are will­ing to make. If he can’t sum­mon the strength to tell his par­ents “NO!” then you will have to do it for him.

Dear Abby: My hus­band and I en­dured months of try­ing and mul­ti­ple trips to a spe­cial­ist be­fore we fi­nally con­ceived our daugh­ter. My due date was Dec. 23, and I wor­ried through­out my preg­nancy that she would be born on Christ­mas Day. Lo and be­hold, on Christ­mas Eve I went into la­bor and our pre­cious baby girl joined us early Christ­mas morn­ing.

Look­ing back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I know it’s silly to worry be­cause we have a happy, healthy baby girl and feel very blessed and lucky. But how can I re­spond to peo­ple when they say how “sad” it is that my daugh­ter

was born on Christ­mas and that she will get stiffed on presents, and maybe I should have timed my preg­nancy bet­ter? — Blessed In New York

Dear Blessed: If any­one is so in­sen­si­tive as to im­ply that you should have timed your preg­nancy dif­fer­ently, per­haps you could put them in their place by re­spond­ing that you feel lucky to have got­ten preg­nant at all. Then tell them you wouldn’t change a thing be­cause be­ing born on Christ­mas Day puts her in good com­pany.

And as to her be­ing “stiffed” when it comes to re­ceiv­ing presents: Choose a date in June and cel­e­brate her half-birth­day. Dear Abby: I am a gay man. My friend “Brian” and I have known each other for 10 years. We dated for a while, but re­al­ized we are bet­ter

off as friends. We have lived to­gether for the past sev­eral years and are now con­sid­er­ing get­ting mar­ried be­cause my job has bet­ter ben­e­fits. My ques­tion is, is a mar­riage of con­ve­nience le­gal? — Go­ing To The Chapel?

Dear Go­ing: Mar­riages of con­ve­nience have been hap­pen­ing since the in­sti­tu­tion of mar­riage was in­vented. That said, how­ever, this is a ques­tion you should ad­dress to a lawyer to make sure that you’ll be go­ing to the chapel in­stead of go­ing to the hoosegow for in­sur­ance fraud.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069 or visit

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