Nona­ge­nar­ian is ea­ger to share a long life­time of ex­pe­ri­ences

Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - PROFILES - ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com

DEAR ABBY: I’m 91. I have out­lived many of my long­time friends. In my ad­dress book I counted 22 pals whose names I have crossed out af­ter they died. Th­ese were peo­ple we danced, dined and trav­eled with. Only five mem­bers of the old gang are left, but they’ve all dis­persed. Mak­ing new friends is dif­fi­cult for peo­ple our age be­cause we are not out and about as much.

Lonely? Yes, a bit. At hol­i­days, some fam­ily mem­bers are good at ex­tend­ing them­selves to­ward this old geezer, which I ap­pre­ci­ate. When they look up from their cell­phones, they dis­cover I have some­thing to con­trib­ute. I ex­pe­ri­enced the De­pres­sion, a va­ri­ety of wars and many new in­ven­tions.

Abby, please re­mind your read­ers how much we ap­pre­ci­ate those who en­gage us so­cially in some way. Many of us are past our war­ranty and won’t be avail­able to an­swer ques­tions much longer. — Old geezer

out West DEAR OLD GEEZER: I’m pleased to put the word out. Read­ers, our se­nior cit­i­zens have much wis­dom to of­fer. They can also be great fun to be around. How­ever, they are a di­min­ish­ing re­source. “Geezer” is right. They won’t be around for­ever, so en­gage with them while you can. For that mat­ter, nei­ther will some of you when you’re their age. Be­cause iso­la­tion isn’t healthy for any­one, do unto oth­ers as you would have them do unto you.

DEAR ABBY: How can I get my hus­band to stop check­ing out other women in front of me? I have re­peat­edly told him it makes me feel bad. If I can re­frain from look­ing at other men while I’m in his com­pany, why can’t he do the same for me? It makes me feel like I’m not good enough.

— Sad wife in

Arkansas DEAR WIFE: Please ac­cept my sym­pa­thy. Since you have made clear to your hus­band that what he’s do­ing both­ers you, per­haps it’s time to ac­cept that you mar­ried a dis­re­spect­ful, class­less boor. While many men look at women other than their wives, most of them do it dis­creetly to avoid hurt feel­ings.

Be­cause what he’s do­ing is dis­re­spect­ful, try view­ing it from a dif­fer­ent per­spec­tive. It’s not that you’re not good enough for your hus­band, but rather that he’s not good enough for you.

DEAR ABBY: I re­cently wore a pair of sun­glasses to work for the first time and re­ceived a lot of com­pli­ments on my “style.” How can I get my co-work­ers to stop com­pli­ment­ing me? I have told them a num­ber of times the glasses were pre­scribed by my doc­tor to pro­tect my sen­si­tive eyes, and I’m NOT try­ing to make a fash­ion state­ment. It makes me un­com­fort­able when they say the glasses look “cute” or “work well with my out­fit.” How do I nicely get them to stop bring­ing at­ten­tion to my med­i­cal is­sue?

— Wor­ried in

Wis­con­sin DEAR WOR­RIED: Your co-work­ers prob­a­bly mean well, but tell them their com­ments em­bar­rass you and you would pre­fer not to be con­stantly re­minded about your eye sen­si­tiv­ity. Then ask them to please stop do­ing it, and I’m sure they will com­ply.

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