Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Theft of cactus ‘son’ jabs Little Rock man in the heart
William D. Gould is having a tough month. The University of Arkansas at Little Rock sophomore just got finished sorting things at the bank after someone stole his identity.
But worse to him is the other theft he experienced Sept. 5, when someone took a most treasured possession. His plant.
He claims it was “cactus-napped.” And now he feels desert-ed.
It wasn’t just any cactus. This one has a name. “‘Terrence’ (answers to Terry),” Gould identifies him on the “Missing” poster that he put up around downtown Little Rock’s SoMa neighborhood where he lives. His now-famous flier has gone viral and has been featured by everyone from the Huffington Post to ABC News.
If the flier about his cactus, last spotted on Gould’s front porch nestled in his terra cotta pot with dish, reads like it’s about a child, it’s because Gould says he considers him one (a recent Tweet: “I will find my son”): “I rescued him from an abusive household where he was about to be thrown in the garbage.
“I have had him for 3 years and consider myslef (sic) his adoptifve (sic) father.”
Clearly his typos are the result of profound plant grief. When we spoke, he confided, “I’m very upset about my cactus being gone.” His deadpan delivery suggests he’s quite serious, although his Twitter activity reveals he most certainly has a silly side. Gould, like his son, is pretty sharp.
As for the plant’s biography, he says, “That is not made up.” He was helping a friend whose parents were divorcing move. When there was no space for the cactus, it was going to be tossed (“meaning almost certain death”). He stepped up and rehomed it.
“I would put him in the windowsill, put him outside at times so he could get some sun, give him water every now and then and keep an eye on him,” Gould recalls wistfully.
Recently he — along with Terrence and smaller cactus, Clarence — moved out of his parents’ house to an apartment. The new “transplants” discovered an adjustment had to be made.
“I quickly realized that the angle of the sun in my window was not sufficient for [Terrence],” Gould says. “I was worried about him getting malnourished or something like that. So I started putting him outside on my front porch when I would leave for class, and when I got home from work, I’d bring him inside.”
The routine worked for several weeks. Until that fateful day. He says, “When I got home from work one day, he was gone.”
The next day, Gould printed some 30 posters with a photo (“Not an actual picture of him, but this is pretty close. He’s a lot more handsome than this cactus”), his full name, actual phone number and a warning (“He is not familiar with this area and is easily confused.”)
As for a reward, Gould says he’s offering “My unconditional thanks.”
So far he has gotten only prank calls — people trying to get “yuccas” at his expense — and blackmail attempts. Meanwhile, the loss is affecting Terrence’s smaller sibling (“Clarence hasn’t been growing very well since the disappearance of his brother”). And now Gould is taking matters into his own hands, complete with green thumbs.
“Being a single father of a cactus is a very hard job, and even harder when one is a full-time student and working part time,” he writes on his GoFundMe campaign. Yes, he has started a fundraiser with a $100 goal and the hopes of hiring a private investigator.
As of press time, no one had donated.
But people have offered him replacement plants.
“I’ve been offered multiple cacti by private individuals,” he says. “It’s just not the same. … It’s like when your dog goes missing, you don’t just go get another dog.”
Indeed, it is a prickly predicament.