It’s the best gift ever!

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas, everyone. President Trump has a very wonderful, beautiful treat for you. A big fat Christmas turkey.

Yes, Uncle Donald has a really great tax plan, the greatest tax plan ever in the history of this country. And it’s all for the little (white) guy, for the (legal) working men and women without whom he wouldn’t have been elected by the greatest electoral landslide in modern times and with such an overwhelming majority of the popular vote. His tax plan is so great that your estate-tax exemption will double from about $5.5 million to over $11 million.

Whew, that takes a weight off my mind.

And this just in … the tax bill will allow drilling for oil and gas in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. I guess the reindeer lobby wasn’t as powerful as it used to be with Santa.

Father Christmas is going to increase the standard deduction for us middle-class retirees by $12,000. Now that is worth a double dose of eggnog, don’t you think? Unfortunately, this gift will be accompanied by the loss of personal exemptions and other deductions that will leave many of us paying more taxes, not less. Of course, Medicare will probably cost more because something has to go up to pay for this largesse.

How much will the tax package help Trump and his family? Not much, I’m sure. He has been paying his fair share of taxes all along, hasn’t he?

To paraphrase Dickens’ Tiny Tim: God help us, every one. Happy holidays.