Teenage mom still bares brunt of her father’s anger

Dear Abby: I’m 18 years old and I have a son who’s 3. I’m still in school and live with my parents.

My parents treat me like I’m a nobody and always bring up how I got pregnant.

My dad takes it out on me when someone makes him mad. I’m always getting yelled at for everything, even if I did nothing wrong. My dad sees me as a failure even when I do something good for me and my son. Because I have a kid, he’s never proud of me. I don’t know what to do or how to make this better.

— Old Enough

Dear Old Enough: Your parents are still punishing you for having the baby. I’m glad you stayed in school, because the more education you can attain, the better able you will be to support yourself and your child.

It is important for your future that you quit looking to your father for approval. You may have disappointed him, but you are not a failure. If there are other relatives with whom you and your child can live while you complete your education, please look into it.

Dear Abby: So often we learn from your column what a good marriage is not — how not to treat someone we love. Could you please describe for my granddaughter just what a strong, loving marriage is? Paint a picture of what to look for in a husband and how to create a marriage that will last while bringing joy to both parties. Your experience

can help me explain this to her. — Pondering Still

Dear Pondering: I can try. But before I do, I should mention that a good marriage may mean different things to different couples. To me, a good marriage is a solid partnership between two people who respect each other, care about each other and are mutually attracted. It helps if both have similar goals and values, and are willing to support each other in good times and in bad. Like anything that’s worthwhile, marriage takes work, patience and willingness to compromise. And of course, communication is key.

Dear Abby: I have a workplace challenge that requires your expertise. Our company sends greeting cards for every event that you can imagine. It’s an effective way to show the employees that we are a team and care about each other. The problem is, one staff member has a habit of writing a “manuscript” (heavy sarcasm) on the inside of every card, whether or not she knows the individual.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Would it be rude to take the card to her only after everyone else has signed it? — Please Sign Here Dear Please: Rude? Not at all. It’s a practical solution. Bravo!