To be happy like them

I feel like such a worthless human being; a real loser. I watch a normal amount of TV. In the ads I continue to see happy, bright, friendly, welladjusted, successful people with many friends and cheerful wonderful families. They are participating in fun activities and working in great places with easygoing and friendly co-workers.

All these people have serious medical problems and are taking some of the latest new prescription drugs. I want to be like these people but, unlike them, I don’t have diabetes or high A1c or low CoQ-10 or nonsmall-cell cancer or DVT/PE blood clots or Parkinson’s. Nor do I have an overactive bladder or an irritable bowel. I do not have Crohn’s disease or Hep C or asthma or COPD or psoriasis or non-24, and so far when I fall down I can get up.

I really wanted to join this happy group of TV people, so I went to my family doctor for help. A1c sounded pretty simple so I asked him how to get enough of it to have too much. I figured he could prescribe some of the wonder drug which my insurance would pay for and I could be happy, too. He gave me a strange look and said he couldn’t do that, but he would refer me to another doctor who could help.

I went to that doctor and she kept asking me about my experiences growing up and wanted to know in great detail how I was really feeling about everything. After two sessions with her I gave up and now I am spending as much time as possible in nearly full elevators hoping to catch a cold or flu so I can get some drugs for that. That should make me feel a little better. P.S. I mock the ads, not the diseases. RICHARD PICARD

Little Rock