Off-and-on relationship may be off again after confession

Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Al,” and I have been together for two years off and on. We dated casually before we decided to be exclusive. Unbeknownst to him, I was also sleeping with someone else, “Brandon.”

Al and I had a fight and broke up for a few months, and during that time I slept with another good friend of mine, “Marc.”

I didn’t feel obligated to tell Al about it at the time. But as we became more and more serious, it occurred to me that it was a lie of omission. I told Al, and he isn’t handling it well.

Honesty and time are key, I know, but he is distancing himself from me. Do I let him go? I am fighting hard right now, but I’m feeling beaten down at every turn. — Wrong In The East Dear Wrong:

Not all relationships last forever. It’s possible that this one has run its course.

If you and Al had agreed you would both be abstinent after the separation, he has reason to be upset. If you had promised each other there would be an accounting of who each of you had been with and you didn’t live up to it, I can see why he would be distancing. However, if an understanding wasn’t in place, then you were free to be with others and you did nothing wrong.

If Al no longer wants to be with you — for whatever reason — you have no choice but to let him go. For your sake, quit allowing yourself to be beaten down.

Dear Abby: Is it wrong to paint my 2 ½-year-old boy’s fingernails when he begs me to? When I paint my nails (I paint them pink), my son sees me and insists I paint his “just like Mommy.”

I see it as all in fun, but my mother-in-law makes snide comments that boys shouldn’t have their nails painted. My husband has also said I should stop.

I know my son will want me to paint his nails only a little while longer. It’s not harming anyone, and I’m sick of all the gender barriers. Am I wrong here? — Pretty In Pink Dear Pretty:

Your mother-in-law appears to think that polishing your 2-yearold’s nails will “make” him effeminate. It’s no more valid than her not doing it has “made” your husband masculine. Ignore the snide remarks because you are not going to change her.

Whether your little boy wants you to continue painting his nails is far less important than making sure he knows you love and support him and it’s OK to be himself. That’s the way parents raise confident and successful children.