Cancer diagnosis prompts search for life’s lost love

Dear Abby: This is the 37th anniversary of when I met and fell in love with a beautiful young woman in Iowa. We were together less than a year before she decided to pursue her dreams in California. To this day I still feel the loss.

In the years that followed, our paths crossed a few more times. Because I was recently married then, I told my old friend and lover I needed to close the book on our relationship. After a divorce many years later, I started looking for her, to no avail.

An urgency has overcome me now because I have been diagnosed with cancer and I’m not sure what my future holds. I don’t want to rekindle something I can’t finish, but I would like to say goodbye one last time before

I’m laid to my eternal rest. Should I continue searching for her or should I stop? — Unsure Of My Future

Dear Unsure: Please accept my sympathy for your diagnosis. I’m sure most women would be touched to hear they were the love of someone’s life.

Remember, that decision was made many years ago. What if you find her and she’s married with children? Would it make you feel better or worse? These days, many cancers are treatable/ curable. If you should find her and you are not terminal, will it give you closure or more heartache? Only you can answer that.

Dear Abby: My ex-wife and I have a 5-year-old son, “Ricky.” Each year it’s becoming more of a disagreement how to handle details for his birthday party. She believes that, we need to invite every child in his school’s class.

She says we can’t risk hurting any potential uninvited classmates. My thinking is it’s our son’s special day and he should have only the he wants most.

There’s also the party’s expense. I don’t believe we need to foot the bill for extra kids. Personally, I also don’t want our son to be spoiled by receiving so many additional birthday presents.

Where do you sit on this issue? And if you agree with my wife, how old will

our son be when this is no longer in effect? — Keeping The Peace In Florida Dear Keeping The

Peace: I do not agree with your wife. If your son would be inviting all but a few of his classmates, then I can see that there might be hurt feelings. But if the number of guests is limited to say, six, I don’t think that would be the case. This would also ensure that your son is not snowed under by an avalanche of gifts. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit